How to deal with elitism

Hi monkeys, Currently summer analyst at a top bulge bracket. I foolish thought that being in a target would expose to the type of people I would eventually work with. I have no issues with people coming from well connected and wealthy families but some people constantly seem to shit on others? Another SA literally made fun of the cleaners after a work event (they said imagine being 30 years old and still cleaning shit), he was a bit shocked when I told him and the rest of the interns that both my parents are cleaners. IDK if I even want advice or to just rant but some people just need to have a bit more social intelligence and shut their mouths

 

From what I've seen, these types of people are VERY happy and have learned to take pleasure in denigrating anyone farther down the social ladder.

It's why I'm an advocate for guillotines being brought back.  The French had the right idea.

Get busy living
 

This. I shamelessly was one of them in my youth. Got humbled professionally in my early-mid 20s.

 

Know that you getting a top BB SA from your starting point is a far better achievement than those guys getting it. From their starting point its the equivalent of getting a BX/APO/KKR SA so pound for pound you are more successful than those dorks already. Keep grinding

 

What?? They're literally the LARGEST and MOST POWERFUL asset manager in the world. Congrats on KKR I guess (probably <$1tn AUM 😂)

 

If I find my kind acting like that I'm sending them to Latin America with no cash for a year.  Fuck that.  I'm with you, the world has enough rich assholes, I will not enable that.

Get busy living
 

That is incredibly abnormal and I have never heard or seen anyone talk or behave so rudely before. I am at a mid-tier BB (Citi/BofA).

Good on you for putting that person in his place. Next time be even more straight with them and ask them to explain what they mean, they will get uncomfortable and walk back their comments. 

The thing is, in this industry, from my experience at least, those who are the most hubristic do not get far - they likely fall at the first hurdle i.e., they don't get return offers. 

What that person said is unacceptable and shocking and I'm just as shocked that no one else around you confronted him for his comments.

You have done amazingly for yourself, having landed a top BB spot from a working class background. You should feel proud. 

Join those networking groups that the bank have. You know, the social mobility group, BAME if applicable, women, whatever else. Whatever you do, make sure to keep speaking out and challenging this behaviour, because it isn't normal. A fundamental lack of respect for others is no way to get ahead and I am shocked someone like that was hired in the first place.

 

Esoteric answer on how to deal with it: hit the gym more

I didn't come from a wealthy family. I'm more of a boxing and MMA guy (participant, not just a fan) than tennis and horseback riding or whatever rich people do

I don't really get comments like this for some odd reason. Get your bench to 225x10

Bear in mind also, these people would be the *exact* same ones to be waxing poetic about how we need more diversity and immigration or whatever, so I have absolutely zero tolerance on disrespect towards working class people from our own country. Ignore my title. If I find that someone is disrespectful toward "flyover country rednecks who went to state schools" since they were a legacy admit to whatever Ivy and mommy and daddy had a nice trust fund for them, I am going to make their career very difficult

 

I chalk this up to, as much as people from these backgrounds who get into ID "think" they work hard, they know they didn't work that hard, and also, they know that you know that they didn't work hard. 

It's one think to earn something, and it's another thing to be handed, aka, born on third base. Yes, they may have also went o an IVY league school, but I always say its different routes to get there. It's easier to take a helicopter to the top than climb the mountain, or, it's easier to get through school when you can go back to your parents beach house vs having to work during the summer. 

All said, sometimes people like this look down on "cleaners" because they have to prove their own worth. It's like the show Succession, all the kids of Logan Roy need to tell everyone how important they are because they know they are not important, where as Logan Roy doesn't need to tell anyone, they know he built the company. 

 

Simply put it in their shoes. If they were truly happy with what they were for whatever reason, they would not be shitting on some random people. I am not saying all, but most people with emotional/personality issues are lacking something. Think about it, if you are so happy, would you be shitting on others? Most people who are seemingly living perfect lives may have hardships underneath. We all have insecurities btw, as well as the most wealthy ones. Humankind tends to identify deficits even from the seemingly perfect circumstances.

 

In places I've worked, a comment that foolish would do some career damage.  Wouldn't get them fired, but definitely no-offered (if an intern) and would cost them reputationally as a full-timer.  No normal person would be able to look at that individual the same after hearing that.

It's actually so ridiculous, I have trouble believing it.

 

It's actually so ridiculous, I have trouble believing it.

Does not sound unbelievable. The class divide in the UK is so heinous it would even shock those in the States. I was pretty active in arguably the most elitist student society in the UK during my time at university (the Oxford Union) and another secret society. Some of the things I have heard on socials would blow your mind. You had people studying stuff like classics (the easiest course to get into at both Oxford and Cambridge) saying the most obnoxiously pious things as though they did not have a father who paid for nearly 600k in private schooling and external tuition just for their son to get grades quite below the average Oxford (and honestly top 10 UK unis too) applicant grades. These are the same type of people who break into banking too so I would not be surprised if some of their thought disciples are spewing their elitist ideology. This of course isn't exclusive to Oxford and from spring weeks to summer internships to my current analyst class I have heard some questionable things from those who were privately schooled and went to the top UK universities such as Oxbridge (of course), UCL, Imperial (less so weirdly enough), Warwick, Durham (of course) and even St Andrews.

 

Understood.  Thanks for the background.

To be clear, I wasn't exactly saying I don't believe it . . I was saying that it sounds so wild to me, that I find it hard to believe.  Meaning either (i) it didn't happen or (ii) holy shit.  I guess the latter is more likely after getting more info from you.

Not that the US is some bastion of equality, but I have a hard time even envisioning a non-drunk person saying something like this in an office.

 

If it is another summer analyst it is different than if it was a full time analyst.

People like that tend to get what’s coming to them through karma or whatever. The life experience of a college student, typically, or more often than not, is very limited and they do stupid things to be funny.

If you treat everyone like a person and reasonably well life typically goes better for you. And you would likely be living a happier life.

"yeah, thats right" High-Five
 

>How to stop being so elitist?

>FYI I'm SA at a TOP BB here

>All comments saying don't worry, your prestige/elitism is higher than those who had it spoonfed

This is peak WSO right here guys

 

I'm sorry to hear that; absolutely despicable comments. The cleaning staff on our floor are some of the kindest and hardest working people I know. 

Any current interns reading this, you should know: We can pick up on all your gestures, snide remarks, body language or blatantly disparaging remarks made in the bullpen. If I were ever to hear a comment made like the one OP recalled, I would make it my mission this summer to make sure that individual does not land a return offer. 

 

So I grew up in a pretty wealthy NYC area community, surrounded by people who ended up going to top schools (Ivies, targets, etc.), and ended up working with a pretty good combination of the same type of people, and, of course, people who came from less and had to work their way up. From what I have seen, nobody who comes from means, or doesn’t, who is truly secure in themselves as a human being, has any need to belittle other people. If you are truly happy with yourself, you have no need to behave like that. I will add, in my experience, that behavior like that wouldn’t be tolerated in an office. Just my two cents.

 

I come from an extremely wealthy background — I would be disgusted if I heard any of my coworkers say something like that…if it were an intern I would 100% bring it up to the staffer at the end of the summer when they ask for feedback regarding who should get a return (wouldn’t recommend doing if you’re a fellow intern). No excuse for that behavior…if it doesn’t bite them this summer it will later in their career.

Good on you for calling it out and standing up for your parents. Best of luck with the rest of your internship.

 

So you’re at an event and an arrogant kid makes fun of the cleaners.

Instead of begin shocked at his arrogance and moving along, you chose to loudly tell everyone your parents are lowly cleaners?

Did everyone stand up and clap as well?

 

I remember you from another thread a while ago — you’re like 40 years old and were calling somebody’s parents losers for not being able to subsidize their lifestyle. I feel like you’re that bratty intern who never had to grow up because daddy took care of you. Textbook definition of starting on third base and thinking you hit a triple.

 

Close. I said some people have losers for parents. You know, parents who have kids but can’t provide for them and make them take out loans and struggle in life.

I don’t understand why we can’t be honest on the internet.

You can have a loser for a parent who should never have had you, but they can still be a good and loving person. Doesn’t change the fact they are lazy and couldn’t provide. Why be annoyed at me for telling it how it is? Why not be mad your dad goofed around in high school and had you at 23 and you had to grow up middle class? He’s the one that should draw your ire. Not me for just holding up a mirror to your pedestrian life.

 

Hi,

I can relate to the elitism people have. I've applied to over 40 roles and sent over 100 emails, but I've received no responses or interview opportunities. It feels like people simply don't want to give a Hispanic person from ASU with no traditional financial experience a shot.

It's disheartening to see that even within target schools, elitism and a lack of social intelligence persist. People need to realize that everyone's background and experiences are different and valuable. It's incredibly frustrating when people look down on others, and I totally understand where you're coming from

 

your right I should have not mentioned the hispanic part that is lame! thank you for correcting me. now to address you. What theory about being hispanic makes you more likely to work in investment banking please share. 

Investment Banker Race Percentages
White 66.2%
Asian 12.4%
Hispanic or Latino 11.5%
Black or African American 5.5%

 I am sure you can analyze a graph stats do show you are more likely to have a job in IB if you are white. 

I only mentioned the hispanic part because I tried reaching out to hispanic people but I was shocked by the response of people willing to help or give advice and in my experience when asking for advice the only two people who ended up helping me out where both white one female and one male. Both not in IB industry but in Consulting. That's why recently I shifted my focus on applying to consulting companies the people there are a bit more friendly again in my opinion, Now the part about ASU students. I am sure people that Have gone to ASU have made it into IB but I would put money that the people that did Also went to WP Carey business school. (Again my fault I should have added more context the first time when explaining myself.) Unlike myself who did not. 

 

40 apps and 100 emails isn’t enough. Need to be sending 1000’s of emails to break in… and obviously more apps. Maybe you’re just lazy bro

 

not lazy I just don't have access to more employees to email even when I can find people on LinkedIn sometimes they have their emails block outside people who don't work at the company so cold calling does not work. I have also tried messaging people directly on linked but thatt rarely works.Do you have any tips on how to find more people emails publicly? 

 

The crappy school I went to showed me enough where I was able to make 38,000$ last month. I am in finance just not hired by a financial company of my choosing. If you are going to disrespect at least make it good! 

 

I get the feeling you’re going to make another shitty comment. In case you’re wondering why I am looking for a job if I made 38,000 last month on my own. Strictly bragging rights to talk shit to other people. Almost like when a rich dude buys a Ferrari. The car is shitty but it’s a flex many other people can not do

 

It sucks but the best way to navigate it is to avoid people like that. They’ve been conditioned for years to think their accomplishments in schooling or jobs is reflective of who they are as a person, but it couldn’t be any further from the truth. Who you are is dependent on the quality of your character, not your pay stub. 
 

Good for you that you called the kid out.

 

Ehhh keep your head to the grindstone… dont wanna associate with these types of people (not saying wealthy individuals) im saying pricks who judge others.


Im smart enough to know that im likely in the place i am because my parents supported me and set me on a path. Other kids (just as smart) may not be afforded the same opportunities… kids a prick

 

Looking down on blue collar and service workers is never a good look. He might feel all ‘patrician’ saying things like that but I doubt anyone is impressed hearing it. Doing himself a disservice because who’s going to correct him? Most people will just silently think he’s an asshole. And if they agree with him, probably not a group you'd want to be around anyway.

 

FWIW, I grew up around such people -- many of which were nouveau riche and generally tacky. I chose to ignore their comments and chose not to comment on their behavior. 

Why? It will hurt them more in the long run. I have no significant pull or influence if a SA does something like this in front of me. However, in front of HR/seniors, that's a different story.    

 

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