With a rapidly growing base, the GSelevator twitter has a loyal following of 25,000 deep. The notorious tweeter allegedly works in some form of upper/senior management, but receives the majority of his posts from emails that come into [email protected]. On a side note, the tweeter claims that if his following reaches 40,000+, he will list Blankfein's personal address, cell phone number, and email. Ouch.
No wonder Goldman has reportedly created an internal investigation unit to put an end to this public relations nightmare. To do my part and gather awareness for the cause, I’m going to go ahead and list my top 10, all-time favorite tweets:
10) #1: I hate Thanksgiving. #2: How is that possible? #1: My extended family is pretty middle-class, and they look at me like I'm a prick.
9) #1: I was gonna take her on another date, but then I listened to Jobs' commencement speech.... 'Keep looking. Don't settle.'
8) #1: 'Equities in Dallas' doesn't seem so bad nowadays.
7) #1: "They're so washed up, people should tell their kids to go and Morgan Stanley before dinner."
6) #1: Getting laid off from Goldman is like being traded by the Yankees. You'll probably still make millions, but it's just not the same.
5) #1: VIX above 40. #2: #1: Whenever you think, 'I’ve done way riskier shit than this,' remember: Steve Irwin was killed by a fish.
4) #1: Buy an Analyst a woman and you get him laid for a night. Teach an Analyst to womanize and you get him laid for a lifetime.
3) A#1: My associate is a fat bitch. A#2: I'm sure she wishes she had a black eye just so people would think she actually has a boyfriend.
2) [Analysts leaving] #1: Are you guys going out tonight? #2: (nods) Dropping coin like Michael J. Fox at a parking meter.
1) #1: [re janitor in elevator bank] Do u think he tells chicks he works at Goldman Sachs? #2: Of course, he doesn't just clean up at work.
Occupy Wall Street Bonus:
#1: Walking around the protesters outside makes me feel like how a black guy must feel in the gym shower. #OWS
For much more daily shenanigans go to www.twitter.com/#!/gselevator
Love it. Don't forget:
1: They shouldn't fucking forget. The top 1% pays more than 40% of the taxes. So we bailed us out. #OWS didnt do shit.
Michael J Fox reference was fucked up.
But hilarious.
http://www.youtube.com/embed/obIGsb-IZMo
1: I wish I invested in poverty. It's up 60% since 2001. #2: We did.
A+
http://www.youtube.com/embed/jyNZcm9GwO8
Hahahaha this feed is amazing:
1: It's not a hangover if you're dead inside.
Here's an interview answer for prospective monkeys:
1: I asked him what his life goal is, and he said 'to make the obituary in The Economist.' #2: Great answer.
So much win.
From today:
1: Wives & Girlfriends are temporary. Ex-Wives & Ex-Girlfriends last forever. #2: Who said that? #1: Kenny Powers.
whenever I'm having a somewhat down day, GSelevator always seems to brighten it up
1: She wanted to sit on the same side of the table. #2: I hate that. #1: I know, makes me feel like I'm driving a car.
firstworldproblems
and
1: I worked my way up from the back office. #2: You were in the back office? #1: Nah, I just fucked all the hot ones there. Now onto analysts.
"#1:Riding the subway reminds me why I am pro-choice."
hahaha so fucked up
Suit#1: Wish Obama had raised the jet tax. Teterboro is a zoo Suit#2: (laughs)
Love it! I've been following for about a month, and it is ALWAYS there for a good laugh!
I went as the mayhem guy from the Allstate commercials. But people assumed I was a banker-who-got-his-ass-kicked. #HalloweenFail 30 Oct
Don't remember word for word but hands down funniest is the one about how their website looks like a un conference but their lobby looks like a grenwich country club
I love that one.
1: How come people on our website look like a UN convention, but our lobby looks like Greenwich Country Day? #2: (laughs) Amen
1: I ate an entire pineapple for lunch. Liz is in for a treat tonight. #2: Good luck, Pavlov.
1: Yo, will you grab me a grande pumpkin spice latte. #2: No, but I'll get you a latte.
1: The Euro is dead. They're just bickering over who pays for the funeral.
A#1: If a girl doesn't respond to my texts immediately, I lose interest. A#2: I don't even have time to meet girls.
1 (smugly): My Mom always said I was 'one-in-a-million.' #2: So, that means there are 7,000 people just like you.
Thank you for this.
i love his tweets even though as a black man i hate it! The agony of loving what you hate>>>>>angry
1 we're going to dress up as Wiseguys for Halloween. Flashy suits & cheap jewelry.
2 People will just think you work at Morgan Stanley.
1: Nothing says 1% like a navy pinstripe, two vents, no pleats. Gucci loafers. #2: 1% riot gear.
How legit do people think GSelevator's story is? I'd think that coworkers and the clients mentioned would be able to identify him (100% it is a him). See http://totalfratmove.com/782530
Favorite @gselevator posts? (Originally Posted: 03/09/2012)
from a quick scan here's some of my fav's from @gselevator
"Vegetarians and homos all seem to think that the rest of us give a shit about what goes in their mouths."
1: "My life feels like a Woody Allen movie."
2: "That's because you're a cynical, undersexed Jew."
1: "Jew would have sufficed."
1: "Was that really an earthquake?"
2: "No, I just dropped my wallet."
laughter
1: "Did you get a look at _______ (female analyst)? She's about 3 weeks of anorexia away from looking hot."
2: "Maybe 4."
1: "My wife saw a fat wad of $5's in my wallet and automatically accused me of being at a strip club."
2: "She should know you tip $20's."
1: Know the difference between a buy-side and a sell-side guy? The buy-side guy says 'Fuck you' before they hang up the phone.
1: At various points in life, I've been the bully and the bullied. And I'm better off for it. Kids today need to sack up.
harvard #1: I got a job at McKinsey, the Goldman of consulting. #2: I got a job at Goldman, the fucking Goldman of banking.
1: All I have to do is glance at my Blackberry, and my wife rolls her eyes and then shuts up. It's awesome.
1: One day, I hope I'm rich enough to become a Democrat.
1: Mitt Romney would be the kid who tries to run out the clock in Madden football.
1: A protester sees my Benz, and wants to rip me out of it. A real man sees my car, and wants to work hard so he can buy it one day.
They are all phenomenal.
1: Know the difference between a buy-side and a sell-side guy? The buy-side guy says 'Fuck you' before they hang up the phone.
lol. Incredible.
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