I'm not sure what compelled me to see Assault on Wall Street over the weekend. I guess I just figured "How bad could it be?". Well, consider that question answered: it's truly execrable, but not without a few unintentional redeeming qualities.
We all know the basic premise of the movie: big evil banks drive some poor bastard into the poorhouse and he shows up on the trading floor with an Uzi and exacts sweet revenge on the behalf of little guys nationwide. For a ham-fisted propaganda piece, the movie is just what you'd expect. Where the movie fails to get it's anti-Wall Street message across, however, is in just how unlikeable the main characters are.
The movie centers on an armored car driver and his sick wife. Neither one of them is memorable in any way, and to prove this I can't even remember what her malady was. Leukemia, I think. Anyway, these two knuckleheads make a series of idiotic decisions which lead to financial catastrophe. The funny thing is that their problems weren't even caused by Wall Street.
Where evil Wall Street comes in is what happens to their savings account. The producers of the movie got so much wrong about this that it's laughable. First of all, the scenes with the big bad Wall Street CEO (played by John Heard) are a direct rip-off of Margin Call. They didn't even attempt to mask it. The bank has shitty assets and needs to dump them. Cut to trading floor where traders are offered big bonuses to clean house. It's almost word for word Margin Call.
Then we have our hapless rent-a-cop, who somehow has his life savings in RMBS, Commercial SWAPs, and a variety of other instruments limited to accredited investors with their own Bloomberg terminals. Of course all the paper goes pear shaped, and he gets a $60,000 margin call on top of everything else.
I'm just gonna stop right there, because I can feel myself getting pissed off again at how stupid the movie was. I mean, for fuck's sake, the actual assault in Assault on Wall Street didn't even start until 68 minutes into a 98 minute movie. The first two-thirds of the movie was just this dipshit making one low-IQ move after another.
It's gratifying to know that Main Street thinks this movie is a piece of shit, too. It's got a Rotten Tomatoes score of 14%, which puts it in the company of such classics as Gigli and Battlefield Earth. I'm frankly baffled as to how dreck like this gets made.
Here's the trailer if you're bored:
...and this is why I see on average ~2 movies per year...
poon tang is why i see the other 20+ movies a year
Thank you Uwe Boll for another masterpiece
It's Uwe Boll...this is what you get from government subsidies.
I laughed when the wife killed herself...I'm a terrible person, but come on. That's reaching too far. It was getting ridiculous 30 minutes in, and just spiraled downwards.
Unfortunately, I think the average person probably believes this. If somebody ever does wage war on "Wall St", it will either be bombing some bank's back office on actual Wall Street or some regional brokerage office.
Oh my God, that's so funny. I thought I was the only one. I was sitting there thinking, "Jesus Christ, lady. You couldn't help a brother out and kill yourself a half hour ago?" lol.
I have a strange desire to see this movie, maybe a la Mystery Science Theater.
My father in law is a steelworker and this reads like some of the stuff I see in his union newsletters.
I have to say, I know everyone hates Wall Street right now but when I saw this preview on youtube last month I thought this movie took it a little far. I didn't see the movie nor do I intend to but I think telling people the guy who goes in and takes out his financial advisor because his portfolio got creamed in the crisis is the good guy is not a responsible message to send.
Glad to hear it was as bad as it looked.
Conversely, I watched "End of Watch" on demand and "Star Trek Into Darkness" in theatres this weekend. Both were great.
I can't wait for Man of Steel.
For some reason I was expecting a replica of the scene in Zoolander where Ben Stiller and Owen Wilson bust in and try to steal the files that are "in the computer." Except this time some schmuck busts onto a trading floor, guns everyone down, and demands to know where the money is. Classic awful.
Wait a minute hold the phone. You're telling me Joe6Pack was NOT the biggest loser of Main and SovX blowing up at all time wides? o.0
Downloaded this and will watch it at some point when am extremely bored, but lol @ what the director thought was a good idea (i.e. too intricate for a regular joe watching to understand while too blatantly wrong for people in the industry)
10/10
This is definitely a terrible movie.
I was surprised how there was literally no justification for his killings. I mean they could have made him at least turn crazy or something, that would have been a little more believable. But the whole time he is portrayed as some hero-vigilante. I'm also glad main st. isn’t buying this crap -- that would actually scare me. Hopefully this doesn’t spark some bright idea in the mind of someone who is mentally unstable. Damn.
I'm waiting for the sequel "Assault on Occupy Wall Street"
Despite of the illogical film plot, sure I will watch it when I cannot sleep. The shootout is great, I guess..
The lifts looked a lot like those of the GS building in New York. Anyone notice that during his last attack ?
Anything has got to be better than the new great gatsby seriously, such a huge departure from the novel
this i actually wanted to see. why did it suck?
Assault on WALL STREET Movie (Originally Posted: 05/10/2013)
check out this link http://trailers.apple.com/trailers/independent/assaultonwallstreet/
HA haha ..
i could see this is france, but surprised that banker sentiment is bad enough here for a movie like this to actually be made... pretty ridiculous in my opinion , comments please..
and its the guy from Prison Break...
This has got to be the dumbest thing I have EVER seen
Liz warren gives it two thumps up.
Liz Warren actually has a cameo as this guys partner in the assault... she takes on sort of a xena princess warrior role, wearing camo booty shorts, bullet chains and shit.
On a side note, I bet this movie has some great one-liners, like: "I'm about to restructure... your ass" before setting off a bomb in the one of the buildings.
This has to be the worst wall street themed movie I've ever seen. The first 4mins put me off completely. "All right people, Listen up . .. . .blah blah".
Funny how these guys just throw around a couple of jargons in these movies.
Anyone watched "Assault on Wall Street"? (Originally Posted: 05/10/2013)
Just stumbled upon the trailer today.
tl;dr - Guy loses his job and kills everyone on Wall Street. The investment firm he gave his money to cares more about "saving the company" rather than caring about its clients. Guy goes ape shit and starts assassinating all Wall St executives (with scenes of him shooting people on the trading floor).
Haha, looks ridiculous. Great production quality too
When things in this country really hit the fan, expect alot of weirdos to come out of the woodwork.
I read an article about some 1%'ers in The Hamptons who were honestly scared for their safety because America is doing so bad thanks to Wall Street.
http://www.wallstreetoasis.com/forums/assault-on-wall-street-the-movie
I hate bullshit movies like that!
Hopefully this movie doesn't give the wrong people any ideas. The last thing we need is some psychopath investor thinking this is the blue print for revenge. However I will certainly stream it online for free because that's all it's worth. I definitely thought it was a parody when I saw the trailer on WSO though....
Plot twist - the guy's hedge fund had bought up a huge portfolio of life settlements before the rampage.
It's actually a heartwarming story about a fund manager that upheld his fiduciary duty to his limited partners at any cost.
Assault on Wall Street - The Movie... (Originally Posted: 05/08/2013)
This is one of the saddest attempts to vilify the street I have ever seen. Not only is the premise extremely juvenile but the violence towards a single profession/group is unreal. If this were made showing someone shooting up rows of doctors/teachers/laborers etc. due to some misfortune caused by someone in that group people would be up in arms. Guess society is ok with killing wall streeters, pathetic.
How this movie was ever made I will never know but here is a quality description:
"As a row of professional and personal dominoes falls, Jim is confronted by the realization that, after being abused and exploited by financial institutions for far too long, he has only one choice: to strike back."
Glad to see that the director of House of the Dead has found himself a new subject matter and executed it so well. Got to respect the tag line "Power, Greed, Justice"
Thoughts?
http://www.businessinsider.com/assault-on-wall-street-first-trailer-201…
It's a Uwe Boll movie. I wouldn't lose sleep over it.
Exactly
Pretty much all you need to know...
That's DOCTOR Uwe Boll, to you!
OP, stop being such a baby.
I thought these guys were against guns...
If you're uncomfortable with people hating you you've gotta get another gig. People will hate, don't be chippy about and just try not to be a d-bag and feed the monster.
Good point.
Movie doesn't even make any sense. He loses his job and house so therefore he goes around killing equity traders. The character should shoot himself for putting 0% down and taking on an ARM loan.
lol
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