What are your reasons for paying/proving for her? It would be also great to know what you expect back from her.
Be it dinners, drinks, vacations, gifts, etc? How much is too much?
| +30 | SpaceX IPO - what are your thoughts | 5 | 15h |
| +27 | Should I use Claude or chatgpt? | 14 | 9h |
| +21 | Funny Things to Say to Interns | 6 | 3d |
| +17 | How did you meet your significant other/partner? | 13 | 12h |
| +17 | London's future as a financial centre | 18 | 1d |
| The Great Debate | 9 | 30m | |
| +7 | Test post will be deleted automatically. | 11 | 18h |
| +7 | E ink/electronic notepads | 4 | 12h |
| +6 | Stay Sharp All Day With Best Modvigil 200 MG Tablet | 0 | 9h |
| +5 | get a model before you model | 3 | 1d |
Career Resources
Get instant access to lessons taught by experienced private equity pros and bulge bracket investment bankers including financial statement modeling, DCF, M&A, LBO, Comps and Excel Modeling.
Usually a couple hundred per week during the courtship period before having "the talk." Then after we are officially a couple, we split everything and when she realizes how much dinner costs, we go out less as she is paying 1/2.
Isaiah, you are THE MAN
This is the way. Plus if she is willing to pay half of costs during dating period, everything gets combined in marriage anyways.
Isaiah can you walk us through "the talk"?
There are really three talks:
a) The new relationship talk
b) The break up talk
c) The get-back-together talk
The new relationship talk is when you set the terms of a relationship. Usually for me it is to become 'officially' boyfriend and girlfriend. And to establish exclusivity or an open relationship or to just stay friends and be FWB. Usually if in a relationship and if it's going rocky, I'll ask to have "the talk" and she will know something is up and say "why what's wrong." I usually give one chance to change what has been the problem in the relationship.
Yea walk us through the talk Isaiah
What is this talk like?
Would be helpful to have a walkthrough
how fucking much do you earn bro?
That is quite a lot for food each week
0
Stopped because it was 250-500/wk. having a rotation is cheaper
Since it is mention as not wife therefore I assume it's no wife potential women. In that case an escort per day might go from hundreds to thousands and college sugarbook girls subscription does go above thousands per M&G. Be careful for prostitutes in sugarbook as you can find them for cheap in their respective brothels
Lol what if you're a 30 year old guy who works in finance (and therefore can afford a certain lifestyle), who hasn't lost his hair and isn't fat, you don't need to pay anyone to do anything
So like you take these gals out to Appleby's instead of Benihana?
Sorry what ? You just go to a bar down the street grab a drink and take them home. It's cheaper than a gf
When she wasn’t my wife, we would split everything 50/50 more or less. I’d usually pay for some stuff like meals more frequently because I like nice food.
Now I can see why she's your wife.
Our finances are "separate" and we pay for our own mortgage, car, insurance, etc. . For "shared" expenses it's maybe a 70/30 type of split (I make significantly more; if it was the other way around I'd expect her to pay for more shit :)). I'm usually the one pushing to eat out or go out so I absorb a little more of the cost on that front. Flowers are an absolute racket. She buys me some things randomly. I buy her some things randomly. Big gifts we have a budget we stick to. I guess I usually drive us around, but I like driving and my car is nicer.
I just want to have a good SO who I can enjoy time/do fun things with at my standard of living really. If it requires me to spend a tad more, who cares. It is still money spent on my own happiness and enjoyment, at the end of the day.
We split 80/20, except depending on the price of the dinner at exit; we have an outlined waterfall structure which changes the payout based on the multiple over one hundred dollars.
We split 50/50 unless one of us wants to invite the other as a treat. Sometimes I'll buy her a drink or invite her for the meal. She calls me stingy and she's right 🤙
man what the fuck
Last I checked it was equality of the sexes. Don't want to go being condescending to girls by paying for them. What do you mean - they are unable to do the work men do to pay for themselves?
This is so cringe.... "What are your reasons for paying/proving for her? It would be also great to know what you expect back from her."
There isn't a number. If you make alot more than your significant other, expect and be willing to spend more as you are dating. If you both make the same, you can probably figure out a reasonable way to "split" items.
My gf is from Europe and very independent, she has her own income, sources, family money, (..). So, next to nothing per week. On special occasions maybe a gift. To be fair, she doesn't have a car, doesn't drive, no kids yet, .. she is frugal with money.
My wife makes more, when we were dating it was 50/50. Now that we are married it’s 50/50 and we each put 50% of income into shared account (which includes savings etc). Then the rest of our money is for whatever we want.
Biggest thing is communication. We are aligned on most things (and all big things). So our savings, etc are aligned and no one feels like they aren’t getting to do what they want. If we made substantially different amounts (or the magnitude of income was different from where we are now), then we would just communicate and adjust expenses accordingly.
Been together for like two years. We have a joint bank account in which we put in money each month and add as needed (groceries, drinks, eating out, gas, rent, travel etc. - basically everything we do together). The split is based on our post-tax income, so it’s like 70/30 currently. Apart from that, generous on gifts and pay for nights out once in a while. Since this is a joint “agreement” there is no expectations.
For the household, she might have to do more (at least for now) since I’m in IB and the hours is what it is.
You can lose a lot of money chasing women but you’ll never lose a lot of women chasing money.
This is a good quote
$0, have never spent money on a woman and I never will. Extremely proud of myself
From day 1 my (now fiance) and I were always 50/50. When she had already finished undergrad and I was still at school she actually took me out a couple times when I was feeling too broke. Now that I've been in finance for a few years my revenue definitely exceeds hers, so I've been trying to pick up the tab a few extra times, or buy her fancier gifts than she buys me just to even out our adjusted EBITDAs a little more.
Related: what’s the going rate for an NYC wedding gift?
Assuming the answer is ‘it depends’ so I’ll say:
- Older couple, 40 & 37, 2nd wedding for each
- Generally a high earning crowd, a lot of lawyers/bankers/etc
- Reception is a tad swanky but not over the top . . think Soho House.
- Pretty close friend of groom, would’ve been 50/50 groomsman if he had them
- Only me, no plus one
Thanks
I didn't married yet and don't know if i will but i'm typically this traditional guy that pays for everything and don't even expect his wife to bring cash to the household but rather help with daily tasks like searching the kids at school, helping to manage the house.. (officialy separation of property but unofficialy sharing everything)
Usually just meals/activities and the occasional gift/flowers - call it $200 - $300 a week sometimes more if a trip is involved. High point of GF going to Europe to finish her masters is that the spend is pretty much reduced to $0.
I treat them when I feel like it, but for regular eating out, drinks and such we just split. I always try to pay more than they do if it's an uneven split.
Also, naturally I pay more and pick up more tabs if they are in college, vs. if they are working.
Have never spent a $ on a woman other than my mother and of course venerating the Virgin Mary, according to Islam, the finest lady who ever lived and the finest point of comparison for women to aspire to-- for Catholics, Mother Mary is the intercessor and of course a holy figure. For Protestants, Mary signifies the mother of Jesus.
An autistic wife would warrant spending 30$ because that's about what I can afford (thanks, college, for jewing me out of my private Catholic education I am underemployed) but if I had $100 for an aspie wife I wouldn't hesitate to spoil her with her autistic hobbies
Any sisters of yours have aspergers and/or a phD? 'tis my type
I pay for 50% of the rent
20% of the food
10% of the groceries
And the other 50% of the rent
My gf makes more than I do, so right now she chips in for food, but if I was making more than her, then I'd try and pay for more of our meals
Fair
Gf should be contributing at least half for food and a good amount of rent if she’s making similar income.
What matters here is not how much you spend, but what you get in return. And if it is worth it, you can spend as much as possible. If it is not worth it, then you should not spend at all. I have been married for a long time and last time I gave my wife a gold ring for her birthday to strengthen the relationship. I ordered it online for 300$ and made it a surprise. For the next couple days my moment of happiness was maximized.
It varies depending on the occasion and what we have planned, but I always aim to make thoughtful gestures rather than focusing solely on the price tag
Same here, I’m willing to spend more if it means more happiness for both myself and my gf
I agree, the amounts of $$ people spend on their s/o shouldn’t make or break the relationship, esp in the dating phase
It’s really the other stuff in the relationship that matter much more. If you or your gf can’t make the simple stuff work, or can’t come to terms on really basic aspects of your relationship bc one person has tons of unreasonable demands to every little situation, then you should resolve those first before thinking about if the $$ you spend is the issue.
It's tough to put a hard number on my SO, since a lot of it is determined as "we should do XX" then just figuring it out on the fly.
We split housing about 70/30, but it would be more lopsided if we actually split it on net income. In my defense, the place is solely in my name for the tax write-off. (It it wouldn't make sense to have it otherwise)
When we go out I'd guess it's 60/40 between who pays, but the SO has a duplicate of one of my (low limit) cards, so I can de-facto pay if it's embarrassing. (that doesn't happen much, so it's maybe 2/3 me paying)
We basically just buy clothes for ourselves, unless it's something like a coat we can both wear (we're close enough in size) in which case I'll normally pay If I think I'll ever wear it.
I'm in a bit of an unusual situation, since I'm dating somebody a dozen years younger than me who works in the arts. If our situation was different the numbers would be more even.
Maiores quod qui ex consequatur. Aut numquam eius quia error.
Vel qui accusamus dolorem eos et. Totam laudantium assumenda blanditiis. Illo placeat aut veritatis autem.
See All Comments - 100% Free
WSO depends on everyone being able to pitch in when they know something. Unlock with your email and get bonus: 6 financial modeling lessons free ($199 value)
or Unlock with your social account...
Culpa autem nihil et omnis. Minus pariatur officia error sit harum. Sed earum vel dolores. Unde distinctio rerum dolorem distinctio aliquid ducimus.
Enim sed voluptas ut. Aliquid quo corrupti dolorem libero et maxime.
Aut eveniet molestiae libero aut laudantium nihil ipsum. Ut earum et possimus ipsam aut dicta. Omnis libero sunt voluptatem voluptatem occaecati. Placeat mollitia veniam totam voluptatem et vero tempora. Laudantium nihil non et voluptas molestiae.
Quisquam assumenda quia molestiae dignissimos minima. Ut nemo fugiat nisi natus illum.
Sint voluptas ex placeat aspernatur expedita eligendi velit commodi. Nesciunt iure quia facere. Adipisci et vero totam dolorum repudiandae soluta recusandae provident. Accusamus ipsum temporibus aspernatur totam sit quis cumque. Ipsa est non nam dignissimos dolores. Cum ea sit ab. Et dignissimos nisi et itaque eligendi cum a.
Soluta et rem ex. Quia et itaque ab quia dolores. Nesciunt animi velit aliquam reprehenderit deleniti facere corrupti. Ad qui sed officiis.