MTF Trans in IB?

Hi 😊

I’m an associate at an elite boutique working in the energy sector from NYC.

I’ve known I’m trans feminine from a young age but always prioritized work / career.  As an adult working in banking, I always thought that I could not be successful if I actually transitioned.

Remaining male presenting has become increasingly untenable for my mental health, but at the same time I would hate to throw away a promising career. I know specializing in the energy industry will make it even harder.

I don’t know what to do and every day I find myself more torn apart by these opposing forces. 
 

 
Most Helpful

Do not transition. Studies continually show that people who transition are more unhappy than they were before. Also highest attempted suicide rate (I believe over 50%). Also would likely have a negative impact on your career as conservative bankers might not want to have you in front of clients. People at a BB might me more accepting of the decision

 

So if it helps sooo much for your mental health, help me understand something since I am so out of bounds here. Why is it transitioned people have attempted suicide 7.7x more then the average person? Why do they successfully commit suicide 3.5x more then the average person? Also, I am surprised at your lack of insults. Have you run out of them when you realized I’m not a conservative or did you realize that insults make you look dumb?

 

The funny thing about mental health is we control it. There are ways to help your mental health without transitioning. With that being said it does require time which isn’t exactly abundant in IB so that may be a different conflict. My overall suggestion would be do your research on the results of transitioning on mental health, if you still think that transitioning will help your mental health then do it. However, I have seen many people look at those statistics and realize that maybe just maybe, something else is bothering their mental health and they THINK that transitioning will help when in reality it actually ends up making it worse. In terms of IB, don’t let a career that many do for 2 years then leave stop you from living a life worth living is my advice there.

 

The funny thing about mental health is we control it. There are ways to help your mental health without transitioning

Complete trans-denial. She is a woman being forced to live in a man's body. Don't explain to her what dictates her mental health. She isn't some confused freak, she's a woman living as a man that hates it. She doesn't need to have some Fox news watcher tell her about what it's like to be trans.

 

I am simply explaining that there are statistics that contradict the idea that transitioning actually helps your mental health. There is no such thing as a women stuck in a man’s body. Also, I don’t watch Fox News nor have I ever. The way I spoke to them was with respect and giving an explanation of my thought process in hopes of helping. The way you have talked to me proves you have no value add to this conversation and that you just really really want attention.

TLDR: your opinion means nothing to me

 
BazingaDinga

The funny thing about mental health is we control it. There are ways to help your mental health without transitioning

Complete trans-denial. She is a woman being forced to live in a man's body. Don't explain to her what dictates her mental health. She isn't some confused freak, she's a woman living as a man that hates it. She doesn't need to have some Fox news watcher tell her about what it's like to be trans.

That's not a thing. He's a mentally ill man suffering from Autogynephilia. If he transitions the odds he ends up killing himself drastically increase because of the effects the unnatural hormones have on your endocrine system and mental health. Beyond those his risks of cancer go up, problems with bone density, he is almost guaranteed to sterilize himself, and if he gets the surgery that adds even more complications. It's cutting a wound in yourself that you literally have to force open with forceps for the rest of your life.

You're a sickening human being for encouraging and embracing this madness and history will look back on people like you worse than we currently do those that advocated for lobotomies.

 

How moronic, being forced to live in a man's body? Nature made him a man, no one 'forced' anyone to do anything 

History will look upon you with disgust for encouraging this mental illness

OP, please do not listen to these freakish enablers -- they have no stake in YOUR future, and only virtue signal to make themselves feel better. At the end of the day, your life is precious and you need to take advice from real people who care about you (and who are not hyper lib / prone to virtue signalling since that is about them, not YOU) 

 

If you are already having this much mental anguish and difficulty, IB is not the right profession for you.

Everyone in the industry feels much higher than normal levels of stress, anxiety, etc because of the nature of the job. You are setting yourself up for highly harmful levels of mental health if you don’t get out ASAP.
 

And that’s not even considering things like acceptance from peers, clients, etc.

 

So you're saying she has no idea what she's talking about and trans people are just confused? It's pretty simple, she's a woman being forced to live as a man. She doesn't need to reflect, she needs to live her truth and be accepted.

 

Lol the comments are all varying degrees of trans-denial. Transsexualism exists, get comfortable with it folks. It's your coworkers, your kids, your relatives, your friends, etc. Trans is a thing.

OP should transition and live her best life, don't be quiet about it either or feel the need to dress androgynous at work. Heels, makeup, etc. Enjoy!

 

Unfortunately based on the responses I would wager that she would not be accepted by her coworkers or bosses and work life could become extremely difficult..

 

Hi OP, 

Full disclosure, I am not trans myself or in IB but I hope this is helpful.

You and your feelings of gender dysphoria are valid! I think you would benefit from a queer and trans-affirming therapist. If you haven't already, you should meet more trans and non-binary folks create a support network and found family for yourself. Queer people exist everywhere, even in business and finance. You just have to look in the right places to find them! Are you a member of the LGBTQ+ affinity group at work? Do you know of any openly queer MDs who can mentor you? Life is too short to not be your true self! There is not a job or salary in the world that is worth staying in the closet for. I wouldn't want to work for a firm, no matter the prestige, that doesn't respect me as a fellow human being. Being trans is not a big deal. Your gender identity is just one part of your multi-layered complex self. A transition is whatever you want it to be. Passing does not have to be your goal. Most of my friends just want HRT as gender-affirming care. You can grow out your hair, get a new wardrobe, start voice training, paint your nails, etc. Practice self care (I know this is much easier said than done). Everything will work itself out in the end. One day, you are going to be an openly transfem MD who will mentor trans and queer kids looking for jobs in finance and business. Best of luck to you!

 

This is probably the worst place to seek advice beyond objective facts. People are really fucking mean on this website.

 

maykuu

I’m an associate at an elite boutique working in the energy sector from NYC.

I’ve known I’m trans feminine from a young age but always prioritized work / career.  As an adult working in banking, I always thought that I could not be successful if I actually transitioned.

Remaining male presenting has become increasingly untenable for my mental health, but at the same time I would hate to throw away a promising career. I know specializing in the energy industry will make it even harder.

I don’t know what to do and every day I find myself more torn apart by these opposing forces. 

Seek intensive therapy. You desperately need professional psychological counseling to deal with whatever issues are at the root cause of your self-dissatisfaction and address this dysphoria before it spirals out of control. I promise you - taking exogenous hormones that will 100% wreck your endocrine system (it was never meant to process them), castrating yourself (and becoming a life-long dependent on pharmaceuticals to maintain basic bodily functions), and dressing as a women - is neither going to improve your mental health nor help your career.

There's nothing wrong with being a feminine man. There is nothing wrong with being a gay man. If it's remotely possible that either of those is more "true" to you after you sit down and talk it through with a counselor, then for your sake I would suggest you embrace one of those identities before taking steps down a path that is irreversible and does not have positive outcomes for the majority of people who go down it. God speed.  

"The obedient always think of themselves as virtuous rather than cowardly" - Robert A. Wilson | "If you don't have any enemies in life you have never stood up for anything" - Winston Churchill | "It's a testament to the sheer belligerence of the profession that people would rather argue about the 'risk-adjusted returns' of using inferior tooth cleaning methods." - kellycriterion
 

-

"If you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them." - Bruce Lee
 

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