Life sucks being an MDs kid
Hey guys - like the title says I am the son of a NY Bulge Bracket MD... AND IT SUCKS. I feel like I have such high expectations to continue my dads legacy as a banker. He has already told me that I am a disappointment to the family due to my inability to get into Wharton from my prep academy. As I start exploring classes this year, I have started to find a keen liking towards a possible career in academia instead of studying Financial Economics. Recently, my dad has been asking about me getting summer internships at his friends Banks/PE Funds and I havent been too excited about it. His reaction to my lack of excitement has gotten him worked up about me "not being driven enough to provide." Between him being gone 24/7 and his demanding needs i am getting extremely worn out to be his "perfect child". I know I can easily break into IB due to his connections but is it even worth it if I know I hate it. I just don't want to go into a career which has caused my dad such pain over the years
I know I may sound "Bratty" for writing this sort of thing but in this context but am i crazy for reaching these expectations? I feel like im being forced to live his dream.
Any help would be appreciated.
Depends where you want to end up long term.
If you aren't going to put in the work you likely won't last in IB long term regardless of who your dad is. I had a friend who didn't really want to do IB get a M&A role and leave in under 6 months because they couldn't take it and didn't care.
If you are motivated enough by the opportunities and doors it will open do your two years, and then exit to wherever you are looking to go. Then its likely a good option and you would be silly to pass it up.
Nice burner account
Reddit is down the hall, to the left
perhaps try growing some balls and making a bag doing something that you like.
I wouldn't call you bratty but lucky. Yes you have an easy road to IB if you choose to take it, congrats that's kinda sick tbh! But being bratty is not knowing you have it easy and being an asshole when daddy magically gets you into Goldman. You seem like a modest dude that happened have good connections cause of your dad. BUT the important thing is you do what you want to do, life isn't all about money and if its not what you want to do then you might have to grow a pair and have a hard coversation with your dad and tell him you want to do xyz.
No, not bratty. Fairly common for high achieving/work ethic/income parents to:
Similar things happen with successful dad/mom in law, engineering, medicine, etc.
Just try to be good at SOMETHING and be disciplined/methodic about pursuing it. Your father MIGHT be a typical banker with no life, soul, or imagination to see beyond his own career choices... but he's PROBABLY just pushing banking because he sees a lack of drive from you and in the absence of you coming up with your own choices, he's pushing a high-expected-value choice he knows very well on you.
The only thing is: no, life does not suck when your parents have been able to provide for you so well. We all have to grow out of someone's shadow. Your version of that - high expectations and somewhat absentee father - is much more challenging than average. But you've never had to worry about a warm bed to sleep in, working part-time to help put food on the table, a broken school system, never going to Disney or a cool vacation, not having a phone, etc.
Obviously you are not getting the right feedback here. Why should you have to conform to someone else's societal & high career expectations; pushing hard that they mirror his career path. That sux.
What if you wanted to be a musician? Why take on a job/career that is of minimal or no interest to you. It might be worthwhile to have a sit down conversation with him about it, tell him how you feel, and what you want. In life, it's better to follow your dreams, interests, and passions; screw prestige & his connections in the banking industry. The value is what you place in yourself, not what others want you to do, or will think about you. If he gets mad, you have nothing to apologize for! The prestige and image is one thing, the human being is another. It's very hard to live up to an image...especially someone else's!
What's the psychology behind this?
Not bratty dude, I've seen a good amount of these cases. Partially on your MD dad's fault for not raising you in a way that conforms to his standards -- by that I mean from a young age he should've enrolled you in stuff like after school tutoring services, piano lessons, etc and spent a lot of time with you teaching all this stuff. And even then the outcome is not totally controllable
EIther way, trying to make your dad happy is a brutal task. Trust me, I know...it's gotten way better for me as I've been fairly successful and as I move up the ranks should improve, but there's always the next thing they'll bug you about.
Find the right line between living your best life with ambition and rebelling for the sake of rebelling
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