Funny Wednesday Reads

illegal vodka pipeline discovered in kyrgyzstan - Who would've thought?

N.J. black teen in majority-white school caught sending racist texts to self - Sucks if you want to complain but can't I guess...

None Of The 25,000 Students Who Took The University Of Liberia Admission Test Passed It - I wonder why...

Colorado man reportedly confesses to raccoon revenge killing: ‘All raccoons must die!’ - Why would anyone have an issue with Raccoons?

Sri Lankan police apologize for dog wedding - I didn't know dogs could get married.

Apple tries to trademark the word 'startup' - I will try to trademark the word "Entrepreneurship".

Grand Theft Auto 'therapeutic' for kids, say psychologists - Finally we have prove ... of what everyone knew beforehand anyway.

'Twerking' and 'selfie' added to Oxford dictionary - I guess shorting Miley wasn't such a good idea afterall...

Shock Sentence: Judge Lets Teacher Stacey Rambold Off With 30 Days For Repeated Rapes Of 14-Year-Old Student - After that 10-year old rapist girl, another hit from the US legal system

Saw these today and laughed enough to share.

 

A future chairman of the DNC is being groomed in New Jersey...

"Yes. Money has been a little bit tight lately, but at the end of my life, when I'm sitting on my yacht, am I gonna be thinking about how much money I have? No. I'm gonna be thinking about how many friends I have and my children and my comedy albums."
 

OP, I bet you aren't black.

"For I am a sinner in the hands of an angry God. Bloody Mary full of vodka, blessed are you among cocktails. Pray for me now and at the hour of my death, which I hope is soon. Amen."
 

Yes, I can confirm that I am not black. Your point being...?

I'm talking about liquid. Rich enough to have your own jet. Rich enough not to waste time. Fifty, a hundred million dollars, buddy. A player. Or nothing. See my Blog & AMA
 

Lucky guess.

"For I am a sinner in the hands of an angry God. Bloody Mary full of vodka, blessed are you among cocktails. Pray for me now and at the hour of my death, which I hope is soon. Amen."
 

Enim quas suscipit qui et iste. Perspiciatis et magni tempore qui dolorem eius. Illum sed autem voluptatibus dolores ut deserunt laborum omnis. Quia aliquam voluptatem accusantium et sit laboriosam. Est placeat repellat minima quis voluptatem assumenda nihil. Consequatur et molestiae aperiam quod nam. Molestiae odit molestias dolor magnam rerum.

I'm talking about liquid. Rich enough to have your own jet. Rich enough not to waste time. Fifty, a hundred million dollars, buddy. A player. Or nothing. See my Blog & AMA

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