Biggest and most common BS you've seen on a resume? Funny
Maybe I'm the only one here who absolutely hates cocky people but anyways I just thought mention somewhat of a rant. A classmate of mine was talking about how he has recruiters calling him all the time, etc. So I asked in a non-confrontational way if I could see his resume so I could know more of what to put. In work experience he put he's been a PM for 8 years (He's 20 mind you) so I asked him more about it and says he uses Merrill edge lol. I asked how much AUM ballpark figure he has because I figured someone being that bold would be upfront and his response was "I would never disclose info on behalf of my shareholders" I then responded with "oh really what licenses do you have? 7? 63? 65?"
He then said "Uh... um.... actually I just use whatever money my dad gives me." I thought I'd share and will ask to those of you who look at resumes a lot: What's a funny resume you've seen where you already knew they were full of shit? Or what is common thing people shouldn't lie about but do in their resume? I would think what he put isn't all too uncommon.
DELETED, though I'm not sure why.
Most common BS: "passion for finance"
Agreed. Sounds way too cookie-cutter.
What’s the better alternative to the “passionate about finance”?
Honestly, probably not necessary to write it (or something like it) at all! Your resume is prime real estate for details about your experience and what you will be able to contribute to the firm, in addition to your other interests, and "passionate for finance" shouldn't make the cut if you ask me.
"Sexually attracted to finance."
c-suite titles for startups
I think they should just put "owner" in that case.
Literally saw a linkedin job ad for a startup's co-founder this morning... Some startups are really something else.
lol
Did you put the picture on there? I didn't.
CFA Level 1 Candidate
"CFA Level 3 candidate (expected)" lol
Expected: 2021-2030
any variation of GPA that's not cumulative GPA
Founder of investment banking club
why is this bad
its just cringe man
In one sense, yes your friend is spewing BS.
In another sense, it may stand out. If you were an interviewer or HR would you want to talk to the guy who appears to have some knowledge of trading or some guy whose highlight is managing the college economics club? You can hire a garbage man or an engineer--a sanitation engineer.
Found the guy also putting this on his.
It'll get you questions, however I can almost promise you anyone putting "PM - 8 years" as a college student is usually an idiot, lying, and doesn't know anything about actually being a PM. So, yeah. I guess it's great, if you want to give the HR department a laugh and end up on the Business Insider front page soon after.
Unless you're Ken Griffin starting and running a fund out of your dorm room with a fucking satellite dish hanging out of your window and killing it in your spare time, nobody wants you to shove your "portfolio management" down their throats with BS terms and exaggerations. One, humble little line about trading in your PA is fine, and you can tell them more about it if they ask. Which they probably will, if they think you're worth asking.
This isn't BS, but when I see a resume with "financial modeling", or any variant of that, under their "Interests" section I get a good laugh.
See this quite a bit on linkedin.
Fluent in English
I LOL'ed, SB
One day I hope to see a CV that says "Fluent in bullshit". That person will be hired on the spot.
You hiring? Let me send you mine quick...
I just seen someone on linkedin put MBA at the end of their name. It was from Phoenix and they actually put their 2.2 GPA.
Classic. How about people who put "strong technical" BS that they have no certifications or even a degree in? lol
My best:
The "Global CEO" title - its cool that you have your own company on the side, but to give yourself a c-suite multi-geographic title for your one-man-show is honestly a bit much.
The "Strategic thinker" - its a graduate favourite to claim strategic thought and then fail on simple market entry case studies.
"Advanced level at (insert every computer program imaginable here)" - I cant recall someone telling me they are intermediate or basic at something like Excel. Everyone is advanced, until, of course, they see advanced.
As far as the advanced level part I completely agree and never put that kind of stuff on a resume. I can see how some would argue that they put it on there because some job postings have things like "experience in MS office required" quite often.
To me, any "investing experience" on resume without a thesis is BS to me, no matter how young or old the person is. Example: "generated a 60% return on a portfolio of 50,000 USD in a one-year horizon". Issues with this one: 1. time horizon too short to judge alpha-generation ability 2. what did that person buy in the portfolio? (if that person says GILD or FB, without even knowing in detail why, that person is just herding, not investing). The 50,000 USD is fine actually.
"Never give info on behalf of shareholders" lol.
" So I asked in a non-confrontational way if I could see his resume so I could know more of what to put. "
He showed you his resume to presumably "help" you out and then you go post on here making fun of him.
Got it.
If you actually read the whole thing I just wanted to see it because I knew more than likely it was full of shit.
yes but he didnt know that. He let you see it assuming you wanted to look at it in good faith...................
Well here comes a startup to solve this problem but focused more on tech side.
https://www.techinasia.com/cloudswyft-it-recruitment-assessment-trainin…
From some recent resume reviews ...
"My time as an intern at company provided me with absolutely invaluable opportunities to leverage those skills at [different company.]" Extra emphasis on the word invaluable to describe your typical, 'get coffee, check my calendar' freshman year internship.
My favorite, though, is when people list 5+ languages on their resume and it goes a little something like this: Language skills: Fluent in English, Chinese (basic), Spanish (basic), Arabic (basic), Latin (basic), Ancient Greek (basic), Russian (basic)
Interests: burlesque, Africana existentialism
"Interests: burlesque"
... would consider.
Would you dinge a CV for doing the multiple language (basic) thing if the candidate has good grades and a previous IB internship at a no-name firm?
To follow along with some of the posts on this thread, the person that should receive the most interest on their resume should have in bold print...
"Extremely willing to shut the hell up and listen to all direction, which shall then be diligently converted to work product in the exact order directed"
When people put that they "spearheaded" the "charity efforts" of their greek org. Congratulations, you've shown that you can sit at a table in the plaza for a couple hours with a crappy sign that you made while hungover and try to sell T-shirts that nobody wants or realistically wears for $20.
hahaha I'm browsing old forums, and I am guilty of having this on my resume. still think it's alright though! sitting in the sun is hard work
Advanced proficiency in Microsoft Excel - only knows CTRL-C and CTRL-V shortcuts
"Built fully functional operating model, merger model, DCF, and LBO..." at previous internship. Couldn't balance a simple balance sheet and half assed DCF.
"Personal trader" with triple digit returns from simulator
Guy listed relevant coursework and one class was listed as venture capitalism...
Your point? I took "Private Equity - LBOs" while I was in college.
Class was probably called Venture Capital
it's called venture CAPITAL not CAPITALISM bruh
Is it not possible a professor actually named a class about VC that? I've seen similar for completely unrelated subjects.
Thinking the same thing
The greatest I have ever seen while interviewing interns at my bank was:
Pls, if you havent been for more than 1 year, dont ever think of putting more than 3 bullet points per work, try to make it simple to read, you wont gain extra points for making your cv longer, and yes, it makes it tedious to read, so you will lose attention from the beggining if what you state is not meaningful
Just saw this on Linkedin:
Imgur
hahahaha
You guys laugh, but you'd be surprised of how many of those things are actually considered as positive by HR. That's where the problem lies.
Interesting... Could you elaborate on that?
One major problem is that HR has absolutely no idea of what exactly the job they are doing the screening for is. They certainly know the description that is given by the department, but if you asked them what does the dep do, they don't know.
So how does HR screening work? By looking for keywords. (This has been partly automated and it makes you understand how clueless HR is, if they can be effectively replaced by a machine). They look for something that includes enough keywords that match the description of the job they are screening for.
Thus the more bullshit overblown experiences, the better. Started a dozen of startups? ''It shows initiative!''.
It's not even an easy problem to solve, because HR does mostly thankless work that noone with ambition wants to do.
I was part of a investment club and I was the newest and youngest there, they all put excel junkie on their resume....and landed jobs and internships from it.
If you list poker as an interest on your CV you better know how to talk about it or you'll look like a fucking clown.
Depending on the position bughouse chess may be the preferred sport. I hear that they live for it over at Jane Street. Personally, I can't find anyone at work to play it with.
Not a resume, but in an interview for a graduate internship (and a very well paying one) one of the candidates spent about 15 minutes talking about how getting his black belt in karate had taught him discipline and how to succeed through hard work. ...suffice to say that he did not get the offer.
really don't see what is wrong with this
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