Most badass Partner/MD moment?

Hearing my MD expectation manage with his wife on the phone is actually legendary. I have never heard someone bullshit so hard. Like literally the ingenuity of the way he frames things might be more clever when talking to his wife than investors. 

You think explaining a month or two of blown projections to an investor account is hard, try explaining to your wife that you can't make the family vacation without getting your nads ripped off. Guy was a god among men (and presumably had a super cool wife).

MD in my group (who is very much a relationship guy and rarely gets involved in execution / technical aspects of deals) got us a buy-side advisory role on a deal that brought in over $40 million in fees.

On the kick-off call, he's the first to speak and says "Folks, I brought the horse to the pond. Now you just need to make sure the water is fucking good." He then put himself on mute and coasted throughout the entire deal.

My MD is so good at extremely accurately role playing how a client interaction is going to play out like:

"he's gonna say this, that and we're gonna tell him x/y/z and he will come back with a/b/c and we're gonna be back where we started so expect to feel like you're spinning you're wheels on this"

And that is literally exactly what will end up playing out. Maybe not badass but he really really gets his clients and I guess that level of intuition comes with doing this shit for decades.

One of my best girl friends growing up in Jersey had a dad who was a big-time MD. She was awesome but a total slut, which is why all us guys loved her. So fun to be around. Anyway, one day she threw a party while her dad was supposed to be staying in the city and her mom was away. 

Dude came home to a bunch of drunk ass high schoolers acting like sloppy idiots in his home and lost his shit. He asked my buddy where his daughter was and buddy froze up because his daughter was literally sucking dick in a car outside. When there was no response the MD/Dad threw a chair through a window. 

Next time your MD shafts you just remember....his daughter is prob sucking dick in a car outside rn. What's the worst he can do? Throw a chair through a window?

Happened while I was an intern. I went out with the MD for drinks, and he and I got sloshed. I had to do a super duper minor thing for an analyst and VP the next day on his team (wasn't deal related), and I straight up just didn't because I forgot as it was due while he and I were out. They emailed my staffer about it, and the MD covered for me. In hindsight, it was really shitty for them to email the staffer because it wasn't mission critical work at all. The staffer told me he was with the MD on this, and I got the return, in a different group I wanted more. Actually, everyone thought the analyst and VP were out of line on this, so it really  worked out. I think the MD is an alcoholic. 

Bought the condos above and below him to eliminate noise.

We were working on a live deal and the Partner's wife wouldn't stop calling him cause we were all still in the office super late. In the middle of a call with the lawyers, he gets another call from his wife, tells everyone on the call to stop for a second, answers his wife's call, and with the entire group listening says something along the lines of: "I will be home when I will be home. Stop calling me. If you want to live the life that we live you need to stop calling me." Then proceeds to block her number and we continued business as usual. I had to step out cause I couldn't stop laughing.

Wonder if he remembers to unblock her number before he gets home or if that's part of his morning routine...

Former ANL at European office at CS 

Jim Amine (Global Head of IB) was touring Europe and visited our office. 

During the townhall with all the IB staff, he went up to one of the European MDs while holding his speech and adjusted the guys tie. Obviously the European MD didn't move or react a bit. 

There is an MD that lives in one of the luxury buildings in TriBeCa and told me that he and his wife wanted a full time nanny to help with his kids, but wasn’t comfortable with having a semi-stranger living full time in one of the bedrooms, but wanted her close enough to do last minute child care if needed.

So he bought a one bedroom in the building for her to use whenever she had to stay late.

Went to the super bowl 4-5 years back with an MD in college that partied hard. This guy at the time seemed like he was easily 350+ lbs, answered to a nickname that only someone in the mafia would (think Capo Agostino), very likely had a substance abuse problem, and had what appeared to be a rotation of prostitutes that followed him around. 

It was hilarious the dude looked like he was the main character in weekend at Bernie’s. He’d disappear for like 5 hours and come back with different prostitutes every single time and was so blacked out that it looked like they were holding him up because he could barely walk. When it was time to go to the actual game the dude spent $100K on tickets for him and said prostitutes to attend the game that he paid for with cash but was too fucked up to get in.  Never seen or heard from the guy after that and to this day I have no idea what the hell he was on (best guess is a cocktail of Xanax, edibles, and booze) but it was funny to watch. 

Tried to my boss before he left to review some materials ahead of an investor meeting the next day. Couldn’t find him in the office but saw the EA so proceeded to ask where he is….

EA: “They’re on the way to dinner to meet Joe.”

Me: “Joe? Oh, is that another client?”

EA: “No, the president.”

lol

The best MD starts with the end goal in mind, pitch books are relatively slim and are tailored. They spend thirty minutes detailing what to do so we don’t spend a bunch of time for things that get cut. Another director has a knack for figuring out what’s top of mind, it’s honestly uncanny. It means more bespoke slides, but far fewer of them.

Partner was having lunch with our team and told us this story. It was 9pm and he decided to bring his old girlfriend to the office. He told everyone she was an interviewee and banged her in his office after everyone left. What a guy

Partner at the fund is single and 47. Dude has his hair, is in solid shape. Obviously looks older but objectively attractive. Cleans up like nobody's business. Had a massive super yacht and just has a rotation of young models that he has casual flings with. Is constantly on the move - Europe South America etc. Unbelievable lifestyle 

45-50 yo MD who looks 60 and has younger bosses above him; not because he's less talented, but because he's the biggest attention to detail / workaholic crazy dude ever. Think top bucket (talented) but annoying associate who got stuck in that mindset for the last 30 years. Will turn comments on top of comments on top of comments, 20-30 iterations on EVERY SINGLE marketing deck. Senior mgmt don't promote him because he's like an engine and is able to cover 200+ clients because he works from 6am to 2am every freaking day except saturdays and Sunday AM.

Typically happens that juniors leave the office and he stays there working. Happened once us analysts went out for drinks on a Friday night and he was still on at 2am sending us emails like "check out this market report, good reading".

I’m still making it but every single person below him has quit after working with him for 5+ years. No one gets promoted and he undercuts you

Get. A. Fucking. Life.