IBD offer: Should I change her life even though she rejected me?
Hi all, I'm in a bit of a pickle and could really use everyone's advice. So, I went on a bunch of great dates with this girl I met on Tinder who is the same age as me. We had a blast, and I thought things were going well. But then, after our last date she dropped the bombshell that she wasn't romantically attracted to me and ended things and to top it off, she ghosted me after, leaving me with no response to my messages begging for another chance.
Looking back, I think I messed up on our last date. She opened up about her struggles as an international graduate desperately trying to break into investment banking. She's been getting rejected left and right, and it's got her feeling down because her visa is about to expire which means she'll be sent back to her country soon. Truthfully she's not a great candidate she's underprepared and not technically strong so it's no wonder she's always getting rejected and I don't see her ever getting an offer. Instead of being supportive, I blurted out that I wanted us to be in an official relationship. Yeah, terrible timing, I know but I wasn't really thinking - us guy's often have bad timing with stuff. She said she wasn't ready for that and isn't sure she wants to be in a relatinoship with me yet so she wants to take it slow. I got a bit emotional cause we had been dating for around 3 months so I felt it was long enough to be ready for a relationship so I caused an argument, and then I stormed out of the restaurant (but I did pay the bill first, at least) leaving her alone there.
it's been a few weeks since and she still never replied so she's officially completely ghosted me.
Now here's where things get interesting. One of my best buddies, who's a VP in investment banking at a BB, told me they need to hire an analyst ASAP. Like, two analysts just quit, and he's desperate to find someone. He asked if I knew anyone, and it hit me—I could recommend this girl. She might not be the strongest candidate technically, but my friend assured me they could train her on the job and he just needs someone to start within the next couple weeks so he doesn't even care and basically guaranteeing her the job if i put her forward to him.
This will completely change her life, taking her from being unemployed, broke and on the verge of getting sent back to her run down country where she will probably end up working in a supermarket all her life packing groceries, to being a rich investment banker earning $200k at a top BB investment bank.
But here's the dilemma: Should I reach out to her about this opportunity? Part of me worries that she'll get the job and then continue ghosting me, living her best life as a successful banker and i feel after she rejected me and ghosted me she doesn't deserve it and i would just be an absolute simp if i get her this job after she rejected/ghosted me.
On the other hand, maybe this could be a second chance for a relationship with her. but then i feel if i say this to her it's going to look like i'm blackmailing her or forcing her to be in a relationship with me in exchange for the job which kinda makes me feel like i'm those hollywood movie directors offering the girl showtime if she sleeps with me lol? I'm just not sure what to do and need to make up my mind by Monday.
Any advice?
Can you PM me?
Sounds like basically every diversity hire at my bank lol
Loool this is hilarious.
Personally I would tell her about it and get her excited just to say you aren't going to recommend her because she rejected you.
I'm just a lousy intern so take my thoughts with a grain of salt, but I find the timing of this somewhat suspicious. It's a bit convenient that after she 'let her heart out' about not getting an IB spot, and you essentially ignored her on this, she decided to ghost you from then on. Maybe she was playing the long game trying to score big with an IB job from the start...?
If I were you, I'd completely dismiss any potential future romantic endeavours with her and focus more on if she got hired at your friend's shop and performed terribly, whether or not that would impact negatively on you. If you do recommend her, make sure there are no strings attached, you can't be simping for this girl.
I physically face palmed after reading this
Or you can give me the offer bc I'm gooder than her
In all seriousness please pm lol
Recent grad here, had my FT offer rescinded from (SVB/CS/FRB) so I am qualified just a tough situation and strong technically. I know this isn't the point of the post but if one of those two analyst roles is still open would you be open to discuss further over PMs?
I can't tell if ur serious or not but the (SVB/CS/FRB) is mad funny
I'm serious but glad I could give you a laugh
Love it. Success never sleeps
Definitely SVB, CS has not rescinded anything
You got me
you two aren't even friends, i think i'd start with that first
How disgusting it is for a banker offering a job to a prostitute he failed to date
Imagine how other hardworking kids out there lost the opportunity because of you
I hope you get karma
Comment section breakdown:
33%: Level-headed people
33%: Analysts begging for a job
34%: Racists/Sexists for some reason?
99% chance this post is fake but regardless, you know it’s not going to be worth it
Do yourself a favor - cop a nut, and then reread what you just posted
cop a nut lmao
Ghost her
International Student struggling to find a role that sponsors and on a clock, can you please PM me?
Please for the love of god be fake. Please please please please please. Unfortunately I have seen VPs make even dumber hiring decisions for women firsthand, so I can't be sure that this is.
Am I the only one who finds the whole narrative disrespectful and disgusting? I know it's 99.9% fake but if you are worried about her taking the offer and still ghosting you, then it is blackmailing.
Dude just do nothing. You have no reason to get involved here in any way. You're in neutral moral territory right now, just stay there
If you genuinely think she isn't qualified, you would be hurting your professional reputation by recommending her. From what it sounds like, she will crash and burn.
You're a VP, so presumably late 20s/early 30s, and you're considering leveraging your professional network to graduate from regular simp to Übermensch simp? Big ouch.
She's clearly a lost cause if she couldn't get an offer on her own w/ the diversity hire status working to her benefit when banks have been flexing that muscle like they're training for Mr. Olympia the last 6-7 years. Plus you said she's your age. No one wants to hire a late 20s/early 30s woman to be their analyst (call me old fashioned but I feel like the analyst role is meant exclusively for young people to grow into barring extreme/non-traditional circumstances). You admitted yourself that she's a weak candidate across preparation and technical skills - the two most important characteristics for an analyst, which if she's continued to fail to even meet the bare minimum standards to get a job you somehow think she's magically get better once handed the job she's not qualified for? AND she's already ghosted you so this is an attempt to pine after someone who's already said they aren't romantically interested in you. Jesus Christ man, you deserve better from yourself.
I'm deliberately being bombastic and hyperbolic on some of these points but in all seriousness man, just don't. You deserve better. Your buddy deserves better. You can do better. So be better. God bless.
If fake, fuck you well done but I hope the above can at least save one lonely banker/PE/HR bro from making a similar mistake. PUSSY IS NEVER WORTH YOUR PROFESSIONAL CLOUT BOYS.
I think you'll have a better career being a romcom scriptwriter than banking. Which I implore you to pursue because a reason why I find movies boring these days is because there's a severe lack of IB/ finance/ HF etc focused mainstream cinematic movies which are relatable.
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