Don’t tell people you work in IB or PE
As the new year comes I think it’s important to share some thought to take into 2023.
The most important being that nobody cares that you work in IB or PE. Yes, I was that analyst that told everyone that I worked in IB, don’t be that guy. Why? Because nobody outside of IB or PE knows what you do or are they impressed by it.My grandma still think I’m a teller.
It’s like telling people you own a 997 gt3rs 4.0 instead of a 911, only car people know what it is and those that don’t have no idea what you’re talking about or are they impressed.
Yes I think it’s impressive that you work at Moelis in the RX group. The girl sitting next to you at the bar doesn’t even know what you’re talking about.
So let’s all agree in 2023 to let our egos subside a little.
.
Ernest Hemingway — 'There is nothing noble in being superior to your fellow man; true nobility is being superior to your former self.'
Really like this quote, thanks for sharing
happy new year bro
Fuck... I needed that.
Happy New Year!
you too dude
You’re the goat after that masterpiece of a quote
damn
i happen to be good friends with gregg lemkau. goldman's top banker. i can say from experience this quote holds true. the people who care about their status in life as it pertains to others are beta.
the true warriors, the true lions, they only work against themselves
Beautifully put, Pussy Galore 🙏🏽
So can I tell people I work in equity research?
Smoke frog would say this would not be a good idea
smoke frog has self confidence and self image issues. he needs an anonymous forum of prospects and interns to inflate his sense of ego so he can feel tall. bankers are glorified paper pushers so they constantly suffer from the need to justify their value to the world
I told someone that and they thought that I worked in the DEI sector — that is, research that pertained to racial equity/social justice.
Are there still girls left that sit next to us in bars or has this town gone to shit? Agree with the rest of your post. Cheers.
More importantly, does a Moelis RX analyst actually have any time at all to go to the bar instead of being chained to the desk 24/7?
Nah, but most of those kids ain't getting laid anyway. My question is legit serious - what's the scene these days. Feels like not as many single girls at bars post-covid???
In my personal life, I prefer not to socially mix with people who immediately ask what I do for work upon meeting. Tends to be big law & banking types. You come off like a tool and I tend to walk away from these conversations. If I'm in networking mode (which is frequently) or its a work-related function then disregard.
I prefer to hangout with successful people who enjoy pursuing interesting, unique goals in their personal time. Doesn't really matter what they do for a living, just as long as we share a common interest of constantly pushing oneself and treating the body well.
Drop-top Porsches, I'm so used to this
Smoking out the pound, I'm so used to this
I know where I'm from and I got used to this
Mansion in the hills, I got used to this
Lambo come alive, man, I'm used to this
No one looks surprised 'cause we used to this
I'ma make sure that we get used to this
Treat my brother’s kids like they one of my kids
Bragging wasn't ever been associated with happiness or fulfillment, it only shows someone's need for validation. Social proof and validation may also be what motivates him to get and stay into a specific job. So to those who need to brag, don't only check your ego, you have more work to do than that, like checking your life's priorities to avoid bigger issues down the road such as an existential crisis or loosing yourself in the wrong career.
Just say bank teller then flex your amex platinum and the used rolex sub you bought after an1 bonus szn
Hot take: Hedge fund manager is probs the sexiest job title that retains its sexiness outside finance circles. Closely followed by investment banker, but that runs the risk of people thinking you're a teller. However, most people think 'investment bankers' invest money so that's cool. No one knows what PE is
Probably CFO is sexier than IB, behind HF PM ofcourse. Traders and quants too maybe, everyone knows who traders are and some people know about quants and whats not to like about a rich genius who doesnt work all day.
Yes, most people probs think CFO is the top top job in finance, like above IB MD (but then that's technically true so arrghhhhh!! No!). I don't think everyone knows who traders are, I'm scared they'll get conflated with WSB diamond hands retail traders and get associated with diamond hands and scamminess. After The Big Short more people know about quants too so that's not too bad. If you're a quant and people don't suck up your prestige, show them The Big Short to shut them up
I would say among the general population probably doctor is the most prestigious job followed by lawyer then engineer. Among more niche populations hedge fund manager, neurosurgeon, investment banker are probably the most prestigious. I personally think its way more impressive to be an engineer but again that's me
tbh when I was hitting some bars/clubs in NYC I would always try to keep it vague when talking to girls. "Oh yeah I do that finance thing" was my answer and never wanted to tell them what area of finance or what bank I worked at. Nine times out of 10 that just led to more aggressive questioning and one girl freaked the fuck out that I wouldn't tell her calling me dishonest and sketchy - true nightmare fuel. They'd ask what area of finance and what bank. I'd go - "It's one of the major banks they're all pretty much the same" - but they'd keep pressing to get the exact name.
So potentially the solution is just lying and saying another profession, but then it doesn't make sense to the girl why you're always busy and cancelling plans, plus you lied to her the first time you met her so it's just digging a deeper hole.
I also feel like there's increasingly some resentment toward "finance bros" (2008 vibes) because men who work in finance have been meme'd into oblivion for being dumb simple jocks who just "rise and grind". As soon as you say you work in finance you get placed into that meme box.
What's the play here?
90% of the girls who describe themselves as "creatives" spend most of their time creating free content for Instagram (Meta); most don't even know that Meta owns Instagram; even fewer have ever really contemplated their place in that whole ecosystem.
If a girl tries to dunk on you by playing the whole "lol me = cool creative; you = finance drone," feel free to remind her of her role in the de-stabilization and shittification of, well, everything.
Be advised that the one time I did that, the girl got up from the table in a restaurant in the middle of dinner and stormed out the door crying. I'm not even kidding.
If you like her, suck it up and keep silent and play the role of the finance drone. But keep that tidbit in your back pocket.
"Classic Citi analyst"
Just say you do quant shit and they won't question it because it sounds scary and smart. Then lead with whatever sport or hobbies you're into! hahaha, plus meme culture has literally destroyed the attraction to finance bros. When I talk to 30+ year old's they tell me how they thrown themselves at finance bros at young ages so to get free drinks and what not, but girls my age (mid 20s) seem to not be that into it and look at us like the worst people on planet earth, fuck it.
yeah 100% it's looked down upon now that litquidity has told everyone we just do powerpoints all day and are corporate cucks
you can't even play the "provider" angle because the hot girls get all their stuff paid for by bank of mommy/daddy - they don't care about your money
it's hilarious some literal 4 came up to me in a bar super interested and asked me what I did - I said finance and she completely lost interest. If it's enough to drive away a 4 you're going to be missing out on anything 6-7+
NOBODY GIVES A SHIT
I’m a banker/PE etc etc is NOT a pickup line, nobody is going to be wowed and kiss your feet or know anything about it.
When I tell women I’m a software engineer the panties instantly drop. But alas, it’s a burden, not a gift. Sometimes I just want to have a normal conversation with them :(
Jesus Christ bro save some pussy for the rest of us
I just tell people I do the work of the gods
Lol that is subtle
This post is funny. I am in top group in top BB, but I have never felt like this is worth bragging at all?
Like what is there to brag when you work like a dog getting paid 200k per year when there are people with businesses earning that amount in a week?
Sit down guys, we are nothing but dogs.
They don’t even earn 200k anymore after their bonuses were taken away 🤣
So what do you say when people say “what do you do?” If I really want to disengage I say “I’m in mergers & acquisitions” usually throws people off. Usually I will say I’m in investment banking, some people know what it is, otherwise they just say “cool” so not really a big deal
Is it just me who doesn't see anything wrong with telling people what you do, if it comes up in conversation? Just don't be a dick about it...
"Oh so what is it that you do?"
"I'm an investment banker"
"Cool, what's that, do you like give loans to wealthy individuals or something? Can you advise me on if this stock is good haha"
"Oh well actually, my work is a bit different, I help companies raise capital. So what do you do?"
If anything, it's more pretentious to not be upfront with what you do. Makes finance seem like this shadowy mysterious world and that you're some sort of gatekeeper to it. Don't bring up what you do yourself (no one should do this, whatever their profession, it's gauche), but don't be so tip-toey around what you do either when asked. It's just a job, after all.
I generally just tell people I am in banking, which usually dissolves most questions they have. Don't get me wrong, I love talking about transactions and markets with people that are in capital markets, but I hate having an "intro to finance" style conversation with most people.
I agree.
Now I have a job in corp dev which is even more of a black hole so I just say I "help [insert company name] sell subsidiaries and buy other businesses" and most people are able to be like oh that makes sense. It is much more useful to describe a finance job in terms of function (ie - I sell mortgage bonds, I advise companies when they acquire other companies, etc) than going with what is basically the standard industry (ie - investment banking) plus the firm you work at.
Subtle Porsche flex
Right? So awkward. Same asinine distinction as the original intent of the post.
.
Last guy who did something like that ended up imploding his own school and getting everyone fired. Now he wants to kill himself but doesn't have the balls to do it lmao. Enjoy scrubbing floors in India douchebag
Did you reply to the wrong thread?
bro misplaced his career saving advice lol
You could just say you are an "investor". Nice and simple. Doing this could let you bypass explaining what an investment banker or private equity is to the many people who have the wrong idea about what they are.
This. If somebody asks what I do, I say I work at an investment fund. If they follow up I describe the strategy ("we buy and sell companies in x sector across y geographies") and then if they really ask I'll say it's the private equity arm of z firm. I don't mind talking about it but would prefer not to lead.
Nobody cares about what you do for work. Typically, people see investment banking as working long hours to trade stocks or something like that. When random people ask me what I do, I tell them banking and simply leave it at that, unless they are interested in hearing more, but in most instances, they are not. Only exciting when you start a new position as an intern/analyst or if you switch to a different team, but that excitement fades after a few months.
It's the same point of view you may have on your friend's role in (insert arbitrary field such as engineering, marketing, nutrition etc...) - you listen to them for a minute on high level detail, then zone out on anything after that.
Yes when asked what I do I say 'Banking', and explain in further detail if people are interested, but again most are not
Do not let your work define your personality outside of the office.
Do not let your self worth come from a job title.
True. One of the sr bankers I had the misfortune of working with whose been a SVP for 10 years apparently broke his keyboard when he learned a VP he used to trash talk (4-5 class below him) made managing director at another EB…
How can someone be SVP for ten years?
I would actually take it a step further – you need to blatantly lie and say you work in a career with low pay (think retail / fast food / housekeeping), or else girls will detect you're coping and insecure.
As a senior in college, I’d frequently just tell people I was a junior or that I didn’t know what I wanted to do after graduation. I’d only talk about IB if I knew the person knew what it was.
Doesn't lying outright seem more disingenuous than telling them straight in this case?
Generally I would just do that with strangers like a bartender or an Uber driver who was chatty
Ryan said, always tell a woman you work in finance. So I tell people I work as a bank teller.
Lol true even my LinkedIn didn’t put “investment banking” analyst or associate until I finally left banking… it’s a IYKYK thing. If you say investment banking people think you’re a teller, stock broker, wealth manager, investor, etc… Much easier to tell people the truth and say you’re a janitorial executive since all you do as a junior banker is clean up doodoo
IDK, I know a few back office people that try and hide behind the name ... Oh yeah, I'm an analyst at goldman ... in the controllers division.
Facts
I’m a girl in PE and I get this all the time when I go to bars! I just say I work in finance - if the guy is knowledgeable about PE, then I will explain further. But I would do the same with girls too, not just with guys.
Rule of thumb is to only say when asked and not make a big deal out of it. Talking too much about it will a) make the guy feel confused (or insecure, but that is not be somebody I would want to be with in the first place) b) make the other girl friends dislike you/make you unrelatable.
Why tf are y’all so weird on the site about normal human being interactions. If someone asks what you do for work, just say you’re an investment banker. Lying about what you do is way stranger, and dancing around the subject doesn’t make you as humble as you think it does.
Don’t make a big deal out of it, and then just follow up by asking what the other person does and how they like it
I think some people took this the wrong way, I’m not saying lie about what you do, just say I work in finance or banking and move on. I’ve seen my fair share of guys say “I work in IB in the TMT group at GS” thinking it would impress the other party. It doesn’t and makes you sound full of yourself.
But… everyone should know that a 997 RS 4.0 is goated
It is okay to state that you work in IB or PE, just people don't care enough to hear more about the job nor do they place much value on what firm you work at if they don't work in finance.
“Finance” if asked and they may think accounting. If they ask further, we help buy companies, make them better and hopefully selll for more 5 years later.
It ain’t rocket science, don’t be that guy.
Nice
Nice
Well among my Indian friends, IB is seen as something you do if you can't do anything academically challenging such as tech, engineering, medicine. Consulting still has some respect
This is how some top ivy kids look at IB too.
Sound like huge nerds
Don't tell people who didn't ask.
Tell them IB if they do.
The one's that know, know.
If they don't, they probably don't care about their career or tunnel versioned the one they decided on when they were a freshman.
Either way no point in explaining.
When people ask what I do, I always just respond "I work for a bank". About 75% of the time, it's sufficient since they don't really care. If they ask what I do for the bank, then I'll give the specifics.
For small talk, instead of asking people what they do for work, ask them what they do for fun in their spare time.... Most seem a lot more receptive to that, it's easier to connect and potentially make new friends, and you avoid the potentially awkward conversation of them telling you they work in a lower status profession and you having to respond that you are in banking.
I wholly agree with this advice for those of you who aren’t bright enough, articulate enough and succinct enough to crisply answer the question, “What do you do?”
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