Repairing relationship with PM
Have been working with my PM for a couple years now and recently asked for a bit more clarity on what my future career development would look like and what the next steps at my fund might be, if that opportunity exists for me. Don't want to get into details, but he kind of blew up at me. Normally if he's being a dick I'd give him a day or so to cool off and things go back to normal, but this time seems different - he's basically been ignoring me since this happened and we usually talk quite a bit every day.
Up until now I'd say I've been performing quite well and we had a great mentor-mentee relationship. This isn't the first conversation we've had about this topic either. About 6 months ago I told him that I'd like to start moving towards sub-PM track over time (the senior analyst doesn't want to take risk, so he didn't know what path I wanted), and he responded very positively and expressed wanting to help me develop. I went into that first conversation half-expecting to be fired, and it was actually one of the most positive conversations I've had with him.
This meeting was essentially just meant to be a routine check-in on how things are progressing but went quite poorly. I don't want to get into specifics here, but my suspicion is that he took one of my questions as implicitly an ultimatum when I meant it as something more open-ended. Presumably he's pissed at his lost investment, and now thinks I'm now a flight risk who might just lift his process somewhere else.
My plan is to wait until he's cooled off a bit more, assuming he ever does, to try and clarify what I meant. The problem is that I don't know if the relationship is irreconcilable at this point and if me trying to explain myself would even cause him to change his mind or if he might get so angry that he decides to fire me on the spot (unlikely, but not impossible). There's another fund that is very interested in me and is willing to give me what I want right away, but I don't really want to leave my seat cause I really like my boss when he's not being an asshole and I figure the devil I know (systems, risk limits/management, senior management, etc.) is better than the devil I don't. I'm also still pretty young and could sit and learn for a couple more years before striking it out on my own.
Always rmb the status quo bias.
So why would he blow up at you for asking about your career development? Unless you threatened to leave, I don’t see why he would get upset.
Because the PM knows his analysts situation is not great or that he was treated unfairly so he just expected the worst. Or he’s just a nutcase.
I think I might have touched a nerve and revealed a fundamental contradiction that he hadn’t thought about before. Like I said, the senior analyst above me has no desire to manage risk so he hasn’t had to deal with this problem before.
This is a fictitious example, but let’s say we currently trade G4 rates and he said I could start trading CAD rates or something. I asked if, assuming I do well trading CAD, is there a possibility that I could eventually move up to EUR or USD or something.
I think the nature of the problem is that the strategy we trade is quite niche, and he saw me as trying to be competitive with him (as he currently trades those markets and would have to basically give that portion of the existing book to me to manage).
It’s tough when your boss feels threatened. Whether they are mature enough to move on from that depends on the person, and only you know whether anything you say or do can make a difference. If he’s reacting poorly to the threat of you leaving, that’s more easily repaired than him worried about you stealing his job.
You have to make the call, just like how you have to consider whether you’ve learned all you can from him and may have a better time elsewhere.
Trade your CAD rates and focus on that while contemplating the above. Long term, you don’t want to be working for someone who has plateaued in their own mind because your success will always be threatening as competition. You want a boss who wants to get to the next level themselves and views you as critical to that.
By the way, “he’s great except when he’s an asshole” reminds me of a common refrain from battered, abused wives.
Thanks for this, you’re quite insightful.
I think it’s a bit of both with him - worried about me replacing him and/or going somewhere else - but my gut feeling is that it’s more the former, especially with the specific comments he made. I would be flattered if I didn’t find it a bit ridiculous and it wasn’t giving me such a headache.
Re: the abusive part, you’re probably onto something and not the first person to make this type of comment to me, but I figure it’s just the nature of the industry. In my limited experience, most PMs worth learning from tend to have personality issues (putting it nicely).
You're in a very similar situation as me. I threatened to leave about a year ago after a year and change on the desk because we hadn't come to terms on compensation (my comp was entirely discretionary but he had dangled some contractual compensation before I joined and then stood pat for a year plus). He basically conceded to what I wanted but took it completely the wrong way and is still pissy about it. Now we're sort of stuck with each other but it will inevitable end with me leaving. These guys have fragile egos and take negotiations so personally. They want to feel like everything they pay you is a treat from them to you.
No, not true. There are great bosses and mentors out there. It’s not necessary for success but does make like easier.
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