Informal Email = Fail

----Original Message-----
From: Me
To: [Boutique President]
Subject: summer internship Application

Hey First Name, I've attached my resume and cover letter below.

Cheers,
[My Name]

-----His Reply---------
From: [Boutique President]
To: Me
Subject: RE: Summer Internship Application

Hey First Name? Is that any way to address a cover note looking for a job?
You've got to be kidding me. I didn't even look at your resume because I
don't like your attitude. No internship for you sir.

 
MagicKarp:
LOL wow. Hahahahaha this is hilarious. I'd be laughing my ass off if I got that email. Hahahahhaha

You should respond with: sorry brah, my bad. we cool?

This could actually work. Try it, you have nothing to lose at this point.

"Brad, thanks for getting back to me, I'd like to work there and appreciate you pointing out that I should have explained that."

If nothing else, you'll get your own page on dealbreaker?

Get busy living
 
UFOinsider:
MagicKarp:
LOL wow. Hahahahaha this is hilarious. I'd be laughing my ass off if I got that email. Hahahahhaha

You should respond with: sorry brah, my bad. we cool?

This could actually work. Try it, you have nothing to lose at this point.

"Brad, thanks for getting back to me, I'd like to work there and appreciate you pointing out that I should have explained that."

If nothing else, you'll get your own page on dealbreaker?

Hey, absolutely do not do that... Could ruin your future prospects of finding a deal elsewhere. However, do write an apology, it could get you back on his good side. More, to learn to be more professional you should read some articles related to interviews and such. The Ladders is pretty good at them and I am sure there would be some on WSO as well. Just need to prepare yourself better, still young, I hope.

 
UFOinsider:
When you go on a date, do you show up, whip your dick out and say "hey, here it is, give me what I want?"

Professionally speaking, you just did that.

I'd say this is the equivalent of:

http://www.youtube.com/embed/qqXi8WmQ_WM

More is good, all is better
 
M Friedman:
This was great. Email him back saying "Well then, No amazing intern for you, bro"
THIS.
deadcatbounce:
even if its a job posting? im not sure what more to add other than state the reason for emailing (subject line?)
A job posting on OCR is just important (if not more so) than a job received any other way... In fact, all the more reason to be formal and explanatory so they can start associating you with professionalism. Something as simple as, "My name is blah and I'm a [sophomore/junior/blah] majoring in Whatever. I'd like to express my interest in the internship position in your company, especially in the XYZ division. My previous experiences include blah blah, and I've attached my resume and cover letter for review. Thanks."
Currently: future neurologist, current psychotherapist Previously: investor relations (top consulting firm), M&A consulting (Big 4), M&A banking (MM)
 
M Friedman:
This was great. Email him back saying

"Well then,

No amazing intern for you, bro"

This--is a fantastic response OP. Hold the "bro" and swap with "sir" and you're a legend.

Ace all your PE interview questions with the WSO Private Equity Prep Pack: http://www.wallstreetoasis.com/guide/private-equity-interview-prep-questions
 

How socially inept are you? How could you possibly think using such a tone would be a good idea?

 
swagon:
And no, I don't think the op is for real. Anyone that inept would just be stunned to receive such a "mean" response back. No one is that retarded.

I agree, the probability of this being real is low. However, I went to school with some nimrods who woudln't have surprised me if they did something like this. Would you have used that language in a formal, hand-written letter? No? Then why the hell would you do that when contacting someone in hopes of getting a job?

You deserve to have moneky shit thrown at you. Not virtual monkey shit. REAL monkey shit, like from a zoo. Someone needs to drive by the zoo, pick up some monkey shit, and smear it on you.

 
BigFatPanda:
swagon:
And no, I don't think the op is for real. Anyone that inept would just be stunned to receive such a "mean" response back. No one is that retarded.

I agree, the probability of this being real is low. However, I went to school with some nimrods who woudln't have surprised me if they did something like this. Would you have used that language in a formal, hand-written letter? No? Then why the hell would you do that when contacting someone in hopes of getting a job?

You deserve to have moneky shit thrown at you. Not virtual monkey shit. REAL monkey shit, like from a zoo. Someone needs to drive by the zoo, pick up some monkey shit, and smear it on you.

Seriously. Who let the mongoloids out of the cage.

 

Very interesting tactic...

"You stop being an asshole when it sucks to be you." -IlliniProgrammer "Your grammar made me wish I'd been aborted." -happypantsmcgee
 

Are you fucking kidding me... U MAD BRO?

[quote]The HBS guys have MAD SWAGGER. They frequently wear their class jackets to boston bars, strutting and acting like they own the joint. They just ooze success, confidence, swagger, basically attributes of alpha males.[/quote]
 

L M F A O

dude, you just made my day. I would go with the "nah bro, see you this summer" email or "no internship? so FT offer?" you literally have nothing to lose if the president is the contact point for recruiting interns then its got to be a chop shop, i'd go for it.

take advantage of Patrick's offer for a free guide. memorize that shit.

 

You messed up a bit on that email, but the guy sounds like a total douche.

A little more formality is required for New York. A lot more is required if this is London.

Seriously, I think some people will pay to see you follow up with "Sorry bro, my bad. We cool?" and post any responses. At the very least, I'll buy you a beer at the next WSO happy hour so we can share a good laugh about a douchey boutique President and/or HR Rep.

 
IlliniProgrammer:
You messed up a bit on that email, but the guy sounds like a total douche.

A little more formality is required for New York. A lot more is required if this is London.

Seriously, I think some people will pay to see you follow up with "Sorry bro, my bad. We cool?" and post any responses. At the very least, I'll buy you a beer at the next WSO happy hour so we can share a good laugh about a douchey boutique President and/or HR Rep.

You wanna have a beer with a tard so you can laugh in their face? That's mean brah.
 

IlliniProgrammer FTW

IlliniProgrammer:
You messed up a bit on that email, but the guy sounds like a total douche.

A little more formality is required for New York. A lot more is required if this is London.

Seriously, I think some people will pay to see you follow up with "Sorry bro, my bad. We cool?" and post any responses. At the very least, I'll buy you a beer at the next WSO happy hour so we can share a good laugh about a douchey boutique President and/or HR Rep.

This is classic.

However, I too hope this is intended for humour!

- Ostende Mihi Pecuniam -
 
IlliniProgrammer:
You messed up a bit on that email, but the guy sounds like a total douche.

A little more formality is required for New York. A lot more is required if this is London.

Seriously, I think some people will pay to see you follow up with "Sorry bro, my bad. We cool?" and post any responses. At the very least, I'll buy you a beer at the next WSO happy hour so we can share a good laugh about a douchey boutique President and/or HR Rep.

Totally agree.

In fact, the email isn't all that bad. It just needs polishing.

The response that he gave you wasn't warranted and clearly tells me that he's a fucking loser who needs to make himself feel better by talking smack to young grads.

One day it's going to smack him in the face when he wants to finish off a business deal with someone he's been a dick to in the past.

 

Responding with "You've got to be kidding me. I didn't even look at your resume because I don't like your attitude." tells me that the guy is a bit of a bully. He's the president of his own firm, and he has nothing better to do than push some 20-year-old college kid who didn't know better around? Ignore the email, or if you're going to point out the deficiencies in the cover letter, at least do it without laughing at the poor kid and spitting in his face.

Most of us were nerds at one point here, most of us learned to fight off bullies; many of us helped our friends fight off bullies. We've also been clueless college students who had no clue how to write business emails; I feel inclined to back this kid and give the guy a mild comeuppance.

I think it's harmless fun to give this guy's chain another yank or two and see what happens. And it's in the president's interests to stay anonymous too. He's essentially checkmated himself, given his response email, if you think about it.

But the goal is for OP to shove this guy back after he got shoved, not to send the President to the hospital. We need to sleep on this and make sure this is just good, clean fun and that nobody's reputation is going to suffer long-term damage.

And it might be wise to take this off the front page, too.

 

I like Illini's idea of paying him to respond and using Boreed's response:

"Hehe, good one bro. See you in summer."

I'm in for $5 (plus networking guide)....

If you are up for throwing $5 to see this happen, let me know.

deadcatbounce, if you decide you want to collect the $s and humor us, all you have to bcc WallStreetOasis.com>[email protected] on the response to him and fwd any responses back he sends. I won't release your name or his name/firm. we will collect the payments through Paypal and then fwd them onto you.

If you are in, send $5 to WallStreetOasis.com>[email protected] paypal with subject "U Mad bro?"...if he decides not to do it, we will refund your $ by Monday.

 
WallStreetOasis.com:
I like Illini's idea of paying him to respond and using Boreed's response:

"Hehe, good one bro. See you in summer."

I'm in for $5 (plus networking guide)....

If you are up for throwing $5 to see this happen, let me know.

deadcatbounce, if you decide you want to collect the $s and humor us, all you have to bcc WallStreetOasis.com>[email protected] on the response to him and fwd any responses back he sends. I won't release your name or his name/firm. we will collect the payments through Paypal and then fwd them onto you.

If you are in, send $5 to WallStreetOasis.com>[email protected] paypal with subject "U Mad bro?"...if he decides not to do it, we will refund your $ by Monday.

Patrick / IP, while I also think it would be hysterical to reply back "Hehe, good one bro. See you in summer." the only reservation I have is that the kid said he got the posting through OCR... being a smart ass in response could damage the relationship the school has with that firm, which isn't the end of the world, but then again the guy could just look past it. But things like this have undermined the credibility of a school's candidates before. Just a thought... I personally think it would be worth the risk for a laugh...

 

As long as you learn from your mistake, then this wasn't entirely fruitless.

Read the guides!

Best of luck!

 

If you attached a cover letter, that email wasnt really a cover note. That's his first mistake.

Second, is getting back to you at all. Completely agree with IP, guy seems like a bully and it appears you can push his buttons a little. Definitely hit him back with something.

I'm down for £5 (so more then the rest of you).

 
You guys shouldn't encourage him with that $5 bet. Key words here: unintented consequences.

I'm trying to figure out how this turns pear-shaped for anyone involved. If we keep this off the main page and keep everyone's name anonymous, it's just a harmless prank, and a bully gets a mild comeuppance. And some of the cat is already out of the bag since this email got posted.

Hopefully the president laughs WITH us; if he doesn't, OP's damage is limited to that specific firm and nobody has their reputation hurt. Worst case for OP, if this somehow dealbreaker-level backfires, I'm the idiot who put him up to this. But I don't think we're being mean at all and I don't think anyone's going to get hurt. We're just yanking the guy a little. Boutique dude will forget about this after two weeks and (hopefully) become a better person for it.

I would still go with something a little more toned down than Patrick is suggesting. We don't want him losing sleep about you showing up at his office door come June. "Oops, sorry bout that brah, we cool for an interview? I can space you in aftr Rothschild on Teusday." Misspellings intentional.

The guy is going to be wondering "WTH??? HE got an interview with THEM???" If we put down GS or MS, it would look like bragging and/or lying, but Rothschild is a strong enough firm to raise some serious eyebrows while also being random enough to look completely unintentional.

 
IlliniProgrammer:
You guys shouldn't encourage him with that $5 bet. Key words here: unintented consequences.

I'm trying to figure out how this turns pear-shaped for anyone involved. If we keep this off the main page and keep everyone's name anonymous, it's just a harmless prank, and a bully gets a mild comeuppance. And some of the cat is already out of the bag since this email got posted.

Hopefully the president laughs WITH us; if he doesn't, OP's damage is limited to that specific firm and nobody has their reputation hurt. Worst case for OP, if this somehow dealbreaker-level backfires, I'm the idiot who put him up to this. But I don't think we're being mean at all and I don't think anyone's going to get hurt. We're just yanking the guy a little.

Or the Prez is a turbo-douche and blasts off emails to his contacts at few other banks / boutiques in an attempt to blackball you. If it costs one interview is it worth it? Your call OP.
 
illiniPride:
IlliniProgrammer:
You guys shouldn't encourage him with that $5 bet. Key words here: unintented consequences.

I'm trying to figure out how this turns pear-shaped for anyone involved. If we keep this off the main page and keep everyone's name anonymous, it's just a harmless prank, and a bully gets a mild comeuppance. And some of the cat is already out of the bag since this email got posted.

Hopefully the president laughs WITH us; if he doesn't, OP's damage is limited to that specific firm and nobody has their reputation hurt. Worst case for OP, if this somehow dealbreaker-level backfires, I'm the idiot who put him up to this. But I don't think we're being mean at all and I don't think anyone's going to get hurt. We're just yanking the guy a little.

Or the Prez is a turbo-douche and blasts off emails to his contacts at few other banks / boutiques in an attempt to blackball you. If it costs one interview is it worth it? Your call OP.

Exactly.

 
illiniPride:
Or the Prez is a turbo-douche and blasts off emails to his contacts at few other banks / boutiques in an attempt to blackball you. If it costs one interview is it worth it? Your call OP.
Exactly.

No, he'll stay quiet. He may be a bully, but he has to be smart to work in this industry. He probably doesn't want to draw any potential attention to hotheaded his response- especially from his friends. And we don't want that either. So if we can agree on those rules, this turns into an opportunity for a friendly prank.

As for scott, the goal here is to just have some good clean fun. We're not trying to hurt him, we're not trying to scare him, we're not trying to be mean. We're hoping he laughs with us that he may be a hotshot president but he can still get punk'd by a 20-year-old who didn't know how to write a cover letter until yesterday. But even if he doesn't laugh with us, I'm pretty sure this won't backfire.

You guys are obsessing too much. Professionals generally aren't spiteful like you think, but even if they are, the political calculus works out strongly against him letting ANYONE know he EVER had this conversation.

 
IlliniProgrammer:
You guys shouldn't encourage him with that $5 bet. Key words here: unintented consequences.

I'm trying to figure out how this turns pear-shaped for anyone involved. If we keep this off the main page and keep everyone's name anonymous, it's just a harmless prank, and a bully gets a mild comeuppance. And some of the cat is already out of the bag since this email got posted.

Hopefully the president laughs WITH us; if he doesn't, OP's damage is limited to that specific firm and nobody has their reputation hurt. Worst case for OP, if this somehow dealbreaker-level backfires, I'm the idiot who put him up to this. But I don't think we're being mean at all and I don't think anyone's going to get hurt. We're just yanking the guy a little. Boutique dude will forget about this after two weeks and (hopefully) become a better person for it.

I would still go with something a little more toned down than Patrick is suggesting. We don't want him losing sleep about you showing up at his office door come June. "Oops, sorry bout that brah, we cool for an interview? I can space you in aftr Rothschild on Teusday." Misspellings intentional.

The guy is going to be wondering "WTH??? HE got an interview with THEM???" If we put down GS or MS, it would look like bragging and/or lying, but Rothschild is a strong enough firm to raise some serious eyebrows while also being random enough to look completely unintentional.

Imagine if that employer gets mad after the 'prank' e-mail and tells his secretary to send an e-mail to other firms he deals with, telling them not to hire this kid or something.

I mean if he's a bully, he can do it.

Chances are slim, but when you're starting you're career in a historically shitty market, you've got to keep all your chances on your side. Don't want to cross the wrong individual.

To OP, if I were you, I'd just send him an e-mail saying you got carried away because you were really excited to work for the firm and you won't make that same mistake twice.

 
Abdel:
Imagine if that employer gets mad after the 'prank' e-mail and tells his secretary to send an e-mail to other firms he deals with, telling them not to hire this kid or something.

I mean if he's a bully, he can do it.

Honestly Abdel, are you really going to turn this into a chess game and make me explain every move we're making to you? He's NEVER going to do that, and if for some odd reason he does, he's cutting off his nose to take a sliver out of OP's toenail. I think most of his friends are going to identify his response as pretty mean-spirited, they're going to see that he got punk'd by a 20-year-old kid, and they're going to laugh with us and hopefully get the President to laugh with us too.

So 90%, probably 99% chance he keeps this private. Either because it will never occur to him to make it public or because he's smart enough not to shoot himself in the foot. OP may NEVER work for this guy's firm, but does he really want to work for someone who shoots off emails like that every time he makes a misspelling in a pitchbook?

To OP, if I were you, I'd just send him an e-mail saying you got carried away because you were really excited to work for the firm and you won't make that same mistake twice.
Let's not appease bullies here. That never worked.
 

^too tame... I recommend OP pulls one of these:

http://www.youtube.com/embed/ZK8QEHxy0oY

If your dreams don't scare you, then they are not big enough. "There are two types of people in this world: People who say they pee in the shower, and dirty fucking liars."-Louis C.K.
 
illiniPride:
^^Fair and probably true. But if I'm the OP I don't risk that unless I already have an offer in hand. Risk / Reward seems pretty skewed here and you never know when your going to catch someone on an off day. Presidents / MDs make mistakes too.

At the end of the day though it isn't my decision (and I would love to see the response).

I can't put a guarantee on it, but I also can't guarantee that OP's offer from Goldman won't get pulled because the firm hits dire financial straits. Life involves risk. And OP has the opportunity here to do something mildly heroic and put a guy who's probably bullied dozens and dozens of people in his place without very much risk either. Knowing what I know today, I would take that risk as a 20-something. But yes, it is a risk. Standing up to bullies is ALWAYS a risk. But I think this is a calculated one.

 
IlliniProgrammer:
illiniPride:
^^Fair and probably true. But if I'm the OP I don't risk that unless I already have an offer in hand. Risk / Reward seems pretty skewed here and you never know when your going to catch someone on an off day. Presidents / MDs make mistakes too.

At the end of the day though it isn't my decision (and I would love to see the response).

I can't put a guarantee on it, but I also can't guarantee that OP's offer from Goldman won't get pulled because the firm hits dire financial straits. Life involves risk. And OP has the opportunity here to do something mildly heroic and put a guy who's probably bullied dozens and dozens of people in his place without very much risk either. Knowing what I know today, I would take that risk as a 20-something. But yes, it is a risk. Standing up to bullies is ALWAYS a risk. But I think this is a calculated one.

I don't know that he is a bully any more than he is a guy trying to run a small boutique and eating lots of shit in the process. He probably gets disrespected enough by clients, so this email was like salt on the wound.

More is good, all is better
 
IlliniProgrammer:
illiniPride:
^^Fair and probably true. But if I'm the OP I don't risk that unless I already have an offer in hand. Risk / Reward seems pretty skewed here and you never know when your going to catch someone on an off day. Presidents / MDs make mistakes too.

At the end of the day though it isn't my decision (and I would love to see the response).

I can't put a guarantee on it, but I also can't guarantee that OP's offer from Goldman won't get pulled because the firm hits dire financial straits. Life involves risk. And OP has the opportunity here to do something mildly heroic and put a guy who's probably bullied dozens and dozens of people in his place without very much risk either. Knowing what I know today, I would take that risk as a 20-something. But yes, it is a risk. Standing up to bullies is ALWAYS a risk. But I think this is a calculated one.

I don't know that he is a bully any more than he is a guy trying to run a small boutique and eating lots of shit in the process. He probably gets disrespected enough by clients, so this email was like salt on the wound.

More is good, all is better
 

i completely disagree that the president is a bully/douche. OP made a bone-headed move (which is OK, we all do these things), so he was taught a lesson.

can you imagine how more informal emails OP would have sent out if the president didn't respond?

Money Never Sleeps? More like Money Never SUCKS amirite?!?!?!?
 
sayandarula:
i completely disagree that the president is a bully/douche. OP made a bone-headed move (which is OK, we all do these things), so he was taught a lesson.

can you imagine how more informal emails OP would have sent out if the president didn't respond?

Your point? Tripping over your shoes does not give someone the right to laugh at you and "teach you a lesson." You either help the guy up and say, "hey, you might wanna tie your shoes," walk past them, or curtly point out "your shoelaces are untied" and walk on. Most people wouldn't say, "Are you kidding me? You tripped over your untied shoes?" unless they knew the person and were laughing WITH them. Because that would be mean otherwise.

The lesson would have been a simple reply stating that "We can't consider your application for this round due to deficiencies in your cover letter." That would have sufficed. Actually most firms would ignore the email and move on. Instead, some 40-year-old bank president was having a bad day and decided to be a troll to a college student:

You've got to be kidding me. I didn't even look at your resume because I don't like your attitude.

This is hardly teaching someone a lesson. The guy comes off as pretty darned cruel- unless of course he's laughing with the OP. In which case, we should have the opportunity to laugh with him, too.

Remember that kid who used to laugh at people when they tripped? The teacher who called people idiots and walked away when they got locked out of their locker? That might just be this guy.

If this does backfire, WE the seasoned professionals are going to take the brunt for putting OP up to this. A 20-year-old following the suggestions of wallstreeters is probably going to walk away from this and have it quickly forgotten. Us 25-year-olds are going to be the ones who get hurt. But it's a calculated risk we're willing to take if it has a MUCH better chance of turning someone who sounds like a bully into a nicer person.

 
IlliniProgrammer:
sayandarula:
i completely disagree that the president is a bully/douche. OP made a bone-headed move (which is OK, we all do these things), so he was taught a lesson.

can you imagine how more informal emails OP would have sent out if the president didn't respond?

Your point? Tripping over your shoes does not give someone the right to laugh at you and "teach you a lesson." You either help the guy up and say, "hey, you might wanna tie your shoes," walk past them, or curtly point out "your shoelaces are untied" and walk on. Most people wouldn't say, "Are you kidding me? You tripped over your untied shoes?" unless they knew the person and were laughing WITH them. Because that would be mean otherwise.

The lesson would have been a simple reply stating that "We can't consider your application for this round due to deficiencies in your cover letter." That would have sufficed. Actually most firms would ignore the email and move on. Instead, some 40-year-old bank president was having a bad day and decided to be a troll to a college student:

You've got to be kidding me. I didn't even look at your resume because I don't like your attitude.

This is hardly teaching someone a lesson. The guy comes off as pretty darned cruel- unless of course he's laughing with the OP. In which case, we should have the opportunity to laugh with him, too.

Remember that kid who used to laugh at people when they tripped? The teacher who called people idiots and walked away when they got locked out of their locker? That might just be this guy.

If this does backfire, WE the seasoned professionals are going to take the brunt for putting OP up to this. A 20-year-old following the suggestions of wallstreeters is probably going to walk away from this and have it quickly forgotten. Us 25-year-olds are going to be the ones who get hurt. But it's a calculated risk we're willing to take if it has a MUCH better chance of turning someone who sounds like a bully into a nicer person.

With all due respect, I must disagree... I think the guy did OP a favor. Maybe he was harsh, but he lightened the blow with the "no internship for you sir" quip at the end.

Money Never Sleeps? More like Money Never SUCKS amirite?!?!?!?
 

This thread should have been on misc. BB would love this shit. +1 so much win.

The answer to your question is 1) network 2) get involved 3) beef up your resume 4) repeat -happypantsmcgee WSO is not your personal search function.
 

Well, it's a risk. There is a 5% chance this will cause some localized damage to OP's job hunt attempts. But the guy isn't Lloyd Blankfein and only knows two or three other potential firms at best.

The consensus among experienced guys seems to be largely congealing around the fact that the guy is a bully. There's obviously some disagreement, but I don't think this is going to be worse than a mild, forgettable controversy for the OP if the president CCs a bunch of people and this makes dealbreaker. The average case, I think (and I am a bit of an optimist), is that a few people won't like this, but a lot of people will see OP as having a lot of guts. Very worst case, it's going to backfire on the experienced guys who put you up to this stunt, not you.

There are too many bullies in this industry. We need to stand up to them.

 
IlliniProgrammer:
Well, it's a risk. There is a 5% chance this will cause some localized damage to OP's job hunt attempts. But the guy isn't Lloyd Blankfein and only knows two or three other potential firms at best.

The consensus among experienced guys seems to be largely congealing around the fact that the guy is a bully. There's obviously some disagreement, but I don't think this is going to be worse than a mild, forgettable controversy for the OP if the president CCs a bunch of people and this makes dealbreaker.

You know, these days, it can actually make it on the dealbreaker, lol. I mean, trailmix story made it.

Title could be '' entitled & arrogant new generation of kids cain't find jobs''

 
IlliniProgrammer:
Well, it's a risk. There is a 5% chance this will cause some localized damage to OP's job hunt attempts. But the guy isn't Lloyd Blankfein and only knows two or three other potential firms at best.

The consensus among experienced guys seems to be largely congealing around the fact that the guy is a bully. There's obviously some disagreement, but I don't think this is going to be worse than a mild, forgettable controversy for the OP if the president CCs a bunch of people and this makes dealbreaker. The average case, I think (and I am a bit of an optimist), is that a few people won't like this, but a lot of people will see OP as having a lot of guts. Very worst case, it's going to backfire on the experienced guys who put you up to this stunt, not you.

There are too many bullies in this industry. We need to stand up to them.

No IP, you want this kid to stand up to a bully, so that you can vicariously get back at your own bullies that you are afraid to stand up to.

Even if the boutique guy has no connections (how the F would you know that, people don't exactly start a bank straight out of the undergrad, he probably built a good size network in the past 10 years he worked for the man) and the loss from him pulling his business from hiring this school's grads is minor, he will definitely share the reason he decided not to hire any more grads from the school, and the school will definitely suspend the kid's OCR-using privileges. And the kid doesn't exactly have the social skills to schmooze his way into unadvertised positions.

More is good, all is better
 
You know, these days, it can actually make it on the dealbreaker, lol. I mean, trailmix story made it. Title could be '' entitled & arrogant new generation of kids cain't find jobs''
More likely it will be "Angry bank president gives lessons to college kid on cover letters." followed by a lot of comments with props to OP along with some detractions. And the embarassment for the banker will suck away most of the negative attention from the OP.

We've got a general consensus of the working professionals here that the president is a bully. This will at worst, be a controversy that quickly blows over for him. And in the very worst case, it will backfire on the adults who put him up to this.

Again, we're talking about really far out tail cases here. It will never get to this because it won't occur to the president to tell anyone about this, if it does, he'll be too smart to shoot himself in the foot, and if he shoots himself in the foot, he probably does not have enough connections to do more than mild damage to OP's recruiting efforts.

Abdel, I used to have issues with anxiety too. Then I learned to always fight back when a bully tried to hurt me. The truly scary thing in life is that you never learn to stick up for yourself.

 
IlliniProgrammer:
You know, these days, it can actually make it on the dealbreaker, lol. I mean, trailmix story made it. Title could be '' entitled & arrogant new generation of kids cain't find jobs''
More likely it will be "Angry bank president gives lessons to college kid on cover letters." followed by a lot of comments with props to OP along with some detractions. And it will be a big embarassment for the bank president.

We've got a general consensus of the working professionals here that the president is a bully. This will at worst, be a controversy that quickly blows over for him. And in the very worst case, it will backfire on the adults who put him up to this.

You're willing to risk this kid's career in this type of market just for fun?

There is probably a .001% chance that this bully owner won't hesitate to damage someone who tries to make him look stupid. But still..I wouldn't risk it.

And remember, he got in contact with the man via his school career center. So this can end up in the school losing him as a potential employer.

 
Abdel:
You're willing to risk this kid's career in this type of market just for fun?

There is probably a .001% chance that this bully owner won't hesitate to damage someone who tries to make him look stupid. But still..I wouldn't risk it.

And remember, he got in contact with the man via his school career center. So this can end up in the school losing him as an employer.

Nobody is risking this kid's career. The guy runs a boutique shop. He probably knows guys at a few other boutiques that have the same coverage as him, and maybe he knows people at one major bank. That's about it.

If he knew people everywhere, his name would be Lloyd Blankfein.

When you stand up to a bully, there is always a 0.01% chance you get sent to the emergency room and suffer parapelegia. But the odds of you winning and learning to stand up for yourself are thousands of times better. In this case, OP's worst-case situation is MUCH better. He's not getting into a fight. He's just getting even.

It's ultimately up to the OP. But I like these odds.

 

^calling him out on such a stupid move isn't "trolling." I could have made a smoother move in 7th grade than this idiot makes IN COLLEGE.

If you don't have the professionalism to at least TRY to sound a little better in an email, then you don't deserve whatever position you are seeking. Realize you are wrong and the guy you were emailing is right, move on, and don't do it again.

 
FusRoDah:
^calling him out on such a stupid move isn't "trolling." I could have made a smoother move in 7th grade than this idiot makes IN COLLEGE.

If you don't have the professionalism to at least TRY to sound a little better in an email, then you don't deserve whatever position you are seeking. Realize you are wrong and the guy you were emailing is right, move on, and don't do it again.

The guy was right, but he did not have to be an ass.

If you lock yourself out of your locker, yes, that's not a bright move. But if someone laughs at you, calls you an idiot, and walks away, what does that say about them?

What does that say about a 40 year old bank executive? What is it like to have to work for a guy like that? If the president doesn't hire OP, maybe one of his subordinates will after he gets screamed at for a missing comma.

 
IlliniProgrammer:
FusRoDah:
^calling him out on such a stupid move isn't "trolling." I could have made a smoother move in 7th grade than this idiot makes IN COLLEGE.

If you don't have the professionalism to at least TRY to sound a little better in an email, then you don't deserve whatever position you are seeking. Realize you are wrong and the guy you were emailing is right, move on, and don't do it again.

The guy was right, but he did not have to be an ass.

If you lock yourself out of your locker, yes, that's not a bright move. But if someone laughs at you, calls you an idiot, and walks away, what does that say about them? What does that say about a 40 year old bank executive? What is it like to have to work for a guy like that? If the president doesn't hire OP, maybe one of his subordinates will after he gets screamed at for a missing comma.

I agree with you on this one

 
On other details, we can discuss. But you cain't deny that it is too risky to do it when the kid got in touch with him via his school career center.
That's a risk too, but 80% chance the president doesn't complain and 90% chance that if he does, they side with OP. Regardless, I didn't get my first job out of school through campus recruiting.

I agree with you that there's a risk. There's always a risk in standing up to bullies. But if you NEVER take a risk, you never transcend the bullies. This is a good opportunity to shove back.

 
IlliniProgrammer:
On other details, we can discuss. But you cain't deny that it is too risky to do it when the kid got in touch with him via his school career center.
That's a risk too, but 80% chance the president doesn't complain and 90% chance that if he does, they side with OP. Regardless, I didn't get my first job out of school through campus recruiting.

I agree with you that there's a risk. There's always a risk in standing up to bullies. But if you NEVER take a risk, you never transcend the bullies. This is a good opportunity to shove back.

A plausible scenario:

OP sends the e-mail

Bully owner contacts the school, show the e-mail and asks them to delete his name off their potential employers list.

Not only you penalized OP in the eyes of the school, but other kids who maybe would of used that contact and launch their career.

So, in the search of one joke, you'll help ruin alot of kids careers debut and maybe lives (who knows).

I would of done it if we were 10-20 years ago when finance was popping. Now, I wouldn't.

 
Abdel:
A plausible scenario:

OP sends the e-mail

Bully owner contacts the school, show the e-mail and asks them to delete his name off their potential employers list.

Bully owner is a boutique who hires one or two kids every year. So this isn't General Electric. They're going to move slowly, bring OP in and ask what happened. If this is a state school, OP is actually entitled to due process before they take ANY action against him. That's where he gets his emails out and also says a bunch of 20-something professionals figured the guy was a bully and it was a reasonable move.
Not only you penalized OP in the eyes of the school, but other kids who maybe would of used that contact and launch their career.
Trust me, he doesn't sound like the kind of guy anyone wants to work for.
I would of done it if we were 10-20 years ago when finance was popping. Now, I wouldn't.
The unemployment rate is dropping dramatically right now. OP will be in pretty good shape when he graduates next year.
 

Honestly, I think it's a really bad idea for the OP to send that e-mail. If you live in a small financial district city, I definitely wouldn't do it. A conversation with his buddies could be easy for him to bring up without him looking like a dick. All he would have to say is, "Do you believe this kid? This asshole sent me an e-mail saying see you this summer bro. If you see this little fuckers resume, send him an e-mail telling him to jump into a shallow pool."

With that being said (if you do decide to do it), I'm going to up the ante to 20 bucks. But you have to exactly say:

Hehe, good one bro, see you this summer.

Cheers,

(Your name)

 
My whole point regarding this story is, we cain't lower ourselves to the level of the bully. If OP sends that e-mail, it would mean he's no better than him (replying to a corny e-mail with a corny one).
The difference is that OP is a 20-year-old college student who is getting picked on by a 40-year-old bank president.who has probably been getting away with this for years.

Yes, if a 7' bully shoves your 5'6" body, in some ways, you are no better than the bully if you shove back. Then again, that bully has probably been shoving everybody lately and if you shove him hard enough to make him take a step or two back, maybe he'll think twice the next time he picks on somebody.

 
IlliniProgrammer:
My whole point regarding this story is, we cain't lower ourselves to the level of the bully. If OP sends that e-mail, it would mean he's no better than him (replying to a corny e-mail with a corny one).
The difference is that OP is a 20-year-old college student who is getting picked on by a 40-year-old bank president.who has probably been getting away with this for years.

Yes, if a 7' bully shoves your 5'6" body, in some ways, you are no better than the bully if you shove back. Then again, that bully has probably been shoving everybody lately and if you shove him hard enough to make him take a step or two back, maybe he'll think twice the next time he picks on somebody.

I still don't see what OP stands to gain by sending that email.
 
IlliniProgrammer:
My whole point regarding this story is, we cain't lower ourselves to the level of the bully. If OP sends that e-mail, it would mean he's no better than him (replying to a corny e-mail with a corny one).
The difference is that OP is a 20-year-old college student who is getting picked on by a 40-year-old bank president.who has probably been getting away with this for years.

Yes, if a 7' bully shoves your 5'6" body, in some ways, you are no better than the bully if you shove back. Then again, that bully has probably been shoving everybody lately and if you shove him hard enough to make him take a step or two back, maybe he'll think twice the next time he picks on somebody.

So, on top of sending this kid to the slaugherhouse, you're saying his not mentally capable (5'6'') of defending himself. And since he's in his 20's, he'll want to prove to everyone that he has the guts to do it = he'll harm himself for our viewing pleasure. I'm not with it.

Ok I'll stop trolling. OP, my suggestion, post the bully's e-mail in the gay section of craiglist.

 
IlliniProgrammer:
My whole point regarding this story is, we cain't lower ourselves to the level of the bully. If OP sends that e-mail, it would mean he's no better than him (replying to a corny e-mail with a corny one).
The difference is that OP is a 20-year-old college student who is getting picked on by a 40-year-old bank president.who has probably been getting away with this for years.

Yes, if a 7' bully shoves your 5'6" body, in some ways, you are no better than the bully if you shove back. Then again, that bully has probably been shoving everybody lately and if you shove him hard enough to make him take a step or two back, maybe he'll think twice the next time he picks on somebody.

I am pretty sure that unless you are packing heat, shoving back a 7ft tall bully while you are 5'6 is a death wish (nevermind that it isn't usually the 7ft tall guys that engage in bullying). Stop acting like such a badass, IP. I bet if you walked in on your gf getting plowed by a 7ft tall bully, you'd be all like "You may be fucking my woman, but you better not have drank all my beer in the fridge!"

More is good, all is better
 
So, on top of sending this kid to the slaugherhouse, you're saying his not mentally capable (5'6'') ot defending himself. And since he's in his 20's, he'll want to prove to everyone that he has the guts to do it = he'll harm himself for our viewing pleasure. I'm not with it.
I'm saying a bank president that you just asked for a job is a pretty scary guy to stand up to. And he's probably been making snarky comments to other college kids for years.
 
IlliniProgrammer:
Maybe I read his tone wrong, but it sounds pretty cruel. There's a lot of miserable people in this industry Abdel and that often tends to express itself in the form of bullying people they think they can get away with bullying.

I agree that there is lots of miserable people out there, however, bullying back is no answer.

Bullying is only a symptom of a problem the person has. OP should actually take the moral advantage by saying things like '' I understand that you work really hard and have no time for unprofessional people'' etc.

The bully will feel good about himself while OP will be toying with him all along. On one hand, he'll difuse the situation (= job), on the other he'll have a sense of revenge, but a classy one that actually helped the bully feel better.

 

I'm pretty sure if he does this that there are people on WSO who post actively and people who just lurk that could get this kid an interview if he was black balled by this douche self-loving president. So he should really just do it.

The answer to your question is 1) network 2) get involved 3) beef up your resume 4) repeat -happypantsmcgee WSO is not your personal search function.
 
blackfinancier:
I'm pretty sure if he does this that there are people on WSO who post actively and people who just lurk that could get this kid an interview if he was black balled by this douche self-loving president. So he should really just do it.

Heard that OP? If you do it, the WSO shaddow forces will have a job lined up for you.

lol

 
Abdel:
blackfinancier:
I'm pretty sure if he does this that there are people on WSO who post actively and people who just lurk that could get this kid an interview if he was black balled by this douche self-loving president. So he should really just do it.

Heard that OP? If you do it, the WSO shaddow forces will have a job lined up for you.

lol

Interview*

The answer to your question is 1) network 2) get involved 3) beef up your resume 4) repeat -happypantsmcgee WSO is not your personal search function.
 

If this guy really tries black balling somebody for saying "hehe funny joke bro, see you in the summer" (or whatever the hell you guys want him to say), he's a MAJOR doucher

If your dreams don't scare you, then they are not big enough. "There are two types of people in this world: People who say they pee in the shower, and dirty fucking liars."-Louis C.K.
 
WallStreetOasis.com:
yeah, i was thinking what blackfinancier said...if this did turn out badly, we could probably get the OP a few interviews :-)

Abdel, you doubt the WSO Shadow Forces?

If the community collectively breathes in the right direction we could make Blastoise the next CEO of Goldman.

Why just Goldman why not U.S President?

My first bill would be to raise taxes to help the lower class, also the economy was better when taxes were higher.

Ant can confirm.

 
WallStreetOasis.com:
If the community collectively breathes in the right direction we could make Blastoise the next CEO of Goldman.

THIS is setting the bar extremely high. Let's start with cashier at McDonalds.

You're born, you take shit. You get out in the world, you take more shit. You climb a little higher, you take less shit. Till one day you're up in the rarefied atmosphere and you've forgotten what shit even looks like. Welcome to the layer cake, son.
 

What I would do is send another email across with more formality, using your actual details.

Something like:

"Please find attached my application for [position] which is currently being recruited for.

I anticipate your response."

Regards/Sincerely

[your name]

Chances are he's likely even forgotten your name and deleted the email because he doesnt expect you to get back in touch after the initial debacle.

What I would also do is use a buddy's email, who has no intention of working in the industry and send him another email, but more douchey and arrogant in nature, similar to what you sent initially or add one of the many things posted here. Then you can discover whether the dude was genuinely having a bad day or he is in fact an asshat. LIkely he doesnt get back to you with this.

Send the 'friend email' first. And then yours, makes you more memorable. That's if you still want this job. Otherwise, just move on and learn the lesson.

 

It can be tedious to write cover letters for each resume you send out but remember this is the first impression your potential employee will have of you. That being said... I do applaud you for standing out of the crowd. Next time as others mentioned, remember who you are speaking to and be more professional. You can still stand out and be professional at the same time.

Do your research on the recipient of the cover letter/email. For example, if you read about the Prez of the finance firm writing an article or you saw his wikipedia entry. Incorporate that somehow and you will at least be a head of the rest of the email cover letters.

At the end of the day... talk about a great story you have and lesson learned!

  • Estella, Wallstreetservices.com
 

With that email you showed the employer your lack of effort in something so simple as an email, which isn't going to resonate you being a hard worker. And even if you were just replying to a job posting from your schools career page, you still need to put some effort into the body of the email showing you are interested.

 

Illini,

What about the employer's response do you consider bullying? The OP's email was moronic (assuming that the correspondence is even real) and I have on more than 1 occasion sent similar responses back to kids who randomly tracked down my email looking for a job but didnt take the time to actually write an appropriate email. How hard is it to write an email that says,

Dear Mr. Supafly Jimmy Snuka,

Good afternoon. Per your recent job posting on my West Philadelphia College career website, I would be interested in learning more about the internship opportunity at Thejesus Capital Management LP. I am currently a Sophomore studying nursing (but I crushed the MCATs) and economics. I have spent a great deal of time researching your firm and recent deal activity and believe blah blah blah.

Regards,

Gaylord

 
junkbondswap:
Illini,

What about the employer's response do you consider bullying? The OP's email was moronic (assuming that the correspondence is even real) and I have on more than 1 occasion sent similar responses back to kids who randomly tracked down my email looking for a job but didnt take the time to actually write an appropriate email. How hard is it to write an email that says,

If somebody tracks down your email address, I guess that's different. But this resume was solicited from twenty year old college kids, the bank President didn't like it, and that was fine, and then he fired off an angry email at some twenty year old (not fine.)

Not everyone is going to agree with us that this guy has it coming. Some of the folks who disagree with us may be bullies who pick on college students themselves and are afraid they have this coming too. Maybe they need to work better to treat everyone with respect. I don't think there's anything wrong with that. Bullies are part of the reason the rest of the country hates wall street, and if we take them down, maybe, just maybe, we won't wind up having our tax rates jacked up to 80% by everyone else.

We need to back this 20-year-old kid who got shit on by a 40-year-old bank president because said president was having a bad day and decided to punch someone who he thought couldnt fight back.

 
IlliniProgrammer:
junkbondswap:
Illini,

What about the employer's response do you consider bullying? The OP's email was moronic (assuming that the correspondence is even real) and I have on more than 1 occasion sent similar responses back to kids who randomly tracked down my email looking for a job but didnt take the time to actually write an appropriate email. How hard is it to write an email that says,

If somebody tracks down your email address, I guess that's different. But this resume was solicited from twenty year old college kids, the bank President didn't like it, and that was fine, and then he fired off an angry email at some twenty year old (not fine.)

Not everyone is going to agree with us that this guy has it coming. Some of the folks who disagree with us may be bullies who pick on college students themselves and are afraid they have this coming too. Maybe they need to work better to treat everyone with respect. I don't think there's anything wrong with that. Bullies are part of the reason the rest of the country hates wall street, and if we take them down, maybe, just maybe, we won't wind up having our tax rates jacked up to 80% by everyone else.

We need to back this 20-year-old kid who got shit on by a 40-year-old bank president because said president was having a bad day and decided to punch someone who he thought couldnt fight back.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/01/11/joseph-maddalone-wall-street-m…

Apparently the CEO of Morgan Stanley would have responded the same was as the Pres of this random boutique, and the kid who emailed him even sent an email that was professional, it just happened to be at an inconvenient time.

 

IP is dead on with his idea. If you can make the President laugh, your chances for employment increases significantly. '

Saying this can get him black listed on the Street is more than just a stretch. It's nearly impossible. IP has been in the business for longer than some of you in college, so I'd trust him with his calculations on this one.

 

hahah this is the most epic thread ever, thanks for all the laughs

"If you survive to my age and you rack up a CV like mine, you can look at HR and say, "Fuck you. I don't try out."- Eddie
 

I hate to stereotype, but the "cheers" thing is all the hallmarks of an Indian student. No offence, I've had students ask for referrals from me and they in their 2nd emails always note cheers.

Perhaps a cultural thing.

"Teachers open the door, you enter by yourself".
 
DSKisNOTGUILTY:
I hate to stereotype, but the "cheers" thing is all the hallmarks of an Indian student. No offence, I've had students ask for referrals from me and they in their 2nd emails always note cheers.

Perhaps a cultural thing.

It's a British thing really, simple to see why they picked it up while we were on holiday there in the 1800/1900s

"After you work on Wall Street it’s a choice, would you rather work at McDonalds or on the sell-side? I would choose McDonalds over the sell-side.” - David Tepper
 
Oreos:
DSKisNOTGUILTY:
I hate to stereotype, but the "cheers" thing is all the hallmarks of an Indian student. No offence, I've had students ask for referrals from me and they in their 2nd emails always note cheers.

Perhaps a cultural thing.

It's a British thing really, simple to see why they picked it up while we were on holiday there in the 1800/1900s

HAHAHAHA!!!!

I eat success for breakfast...with skim milk
 
madmoney15:
This poor guy probably is still playing world of warcraft to escape his pain from everyone shitting on him for past 48 hours. But seriously bro, if you're still there, I need an answer soon because the joke is starting to get old. My 20 dollar bid will be retracted by Saturday if you don't make a decision by then

The OP is actually fist pumping in front of the bathroom mirror in preparation for his reply to the boutique president. It's Jersey yoga.

OP, I too am getting impatient, but I shall wait out of respect for the art of the pumping of the fist.

Seriously though kid, when I'm in a position to hire people, I will hire you if you do this. It will show guts, being good at following orders from idiots and entertaining me. All necessary and formidable traits.

I send you strength.

 
madmoney15:
This poor guy probably is still playing world of warcraft to escape his pain from everyone shitting on him for past 48 hours. But seriously bro, if you're still there, I need an answer soon because the joke is starting to get old. My 20 dollar bid will be retracted by Saturday if you don't make a decision by then
I don't think anyone's been shitting on him besides one or two insecure college students. We have all been there. When I was a college junior, I had no idea how Goldman Sachs was different than TD Waterhouse, let alone how to write a cover letter.
Not sure if anyone tracked OP's thread history, but he seems to be quite socially inept.
You're talking to a CS major here. We always thought you guys were the ones who lacked social skills. Learn to be nice, and learn to play Worlds of Warcraft with your friends.
 

Not trying to hate. But there is a plethora of information online at places like M&I... and from his parents that should have shown how to be a bit more subtle... You usually don't go balls deep right away.

 

this might be specific to s&t, but I've always preferred Hi [FirstName] instead of a uncomfortable Dear Mr./Ms. [LastName]. obviously i need a Dear [first or lastname] and the whole line space & formal letter format in the cover, but in emails i really prefer Hi [FirstName]. assuming content of the email is formal.

also, is it me or do the boutique bankers have bigger sticks in their asses than top-BB bankers. seriously.

 

This reminds me of a message I received on WSO back in 2010:


aricz Nov 16 2010 - 11:40pm

Hey man,

How are you? I was reading a post on the forum and suddenly I saw you mentioned you are working for Rothschild as an IB guy. I am actually in the process of applying for their IB Analyst post in Hong Kong for class 2011. I am wondering whether you could kindly pass an internal reference for me please if you think my background fit for Rothschild.

Some basic info of me: McGill University (Canadian target) B.A Joint Honours Econ and Finance 3.5+ B. Eng Electrical Engineering, speak English, French, Mandarin I had an internship with Accenture's Mgmt consulting, as well as an internship as a system design engineer plus two summer of teaching English in China That's a quick intro, hope it looks alright.

I really like MM firms since I can actually start a careers instead of being treated as another analyst of class2011xyz and just be used as an easily replaceable monkey. However, MMs don't recruit too much especially in Asia so I would really appreciate if you don't mind to give me a hand to get on the Rothschild boat.

My email is -email- and hopefully I will have the chance to provide more information in the future regarding on the application process.

Thank you very much and I look forward hearing from you at your convenience.

Best regards,

Aric

P.S. what's your name please?


Asia_i_Banker Nov 17 2010 - 12:16am

1) Never begin an e-mail with "Hey man"

2) Rothschild is not MM. We just advised on the largest equity raise in histroy.


aricz Nov 17 2010 - 8:19am

Dear Mr.

Thanks for pointing out the email thing.

About the MM or BB thing, I respect your opinion too.

Thank you for the advice and have a nice day.

Regards

Mod note: email address deleted. As a reminder, WSO has a policy of removing personally identifiable information. -IlliniProgrammer

Go East, Young Man
 

^^ should probably remove that guy's email.

And I've heard about Roths hating being referred to as a Boutique, understandably, but to called MM is pure ignorance.

"After you work on Wall Street it’s a choice, would you rather work at McDonalds or on the sell-side? I would choose McDonalds over the sell-side.” - David Tepper
 
Azimut:
Yeh, I'm similarly surprised that he replied. Wouldn't have bothered, myself. Guess they have no deal flow and hence plenty of free time?

Well it doesn't exactly take that much time to respond to an email. If you got an email like that and if you didn't have a boss working over you directly who'd get pissed if you replied like that, wouldn't you let him know it was rude so that you could simultaneously help him out and get a kick out of doing it? I would :D

 

How boss would it be if you start your own company, acquire his, and then fire him? And then send him some fancy-ass poetic justice email containing one sentence to top it all off. That being said, why would you send such an email? haha

 

he said he hasn't read your resume. Just make another email account and email him again with a more professional note. Like:

"Dear Mr. BSD,

I have been interested in your company for a long time, particularly because [cite a reason], and I feel like I would be a great fit for the [advertised position]. I am a [class level and major] at [University] with a [GPA or other relevant distinction] and would greatly appreciate the chance to contribute to company's success this summer.

Best Regards, *Changed name"

*If you signed first name+last name and have a common enough sounding first name, use the first name alone; if you go by your middle name, use the first name, i.e.: J. Jack Off ---> John J. Off

More is good, all is better
 
I am pretty sure that unless you are packing heat, shoving back a 7ft tall bully while you are 5'6 is a death wish (nevermind that it isn't usually the 7ft tall guys that engage in bullying). Stop acting like such a badass, IP. I bet if you walked in on your gf getting plowed by a 7ft tall bully, you'd be all like "You may be fucking my woman, but you better not have drank all my beer in the fridge!"]
The trick is using your lower center of gravity to your advantage. A lot of bullies aren't going to see a takedown coming, and they can't punch you if you come in close enough to do a wrestling move on them.
Even if the boutique guy has no connections (how the F would you know that, people don't exactly start a bank straight out of the undergrad, he probably built a good size network in the past 10 years he worked for the man) and the loss from him pulling his business from hiring this school's grads is minor, he will definitely share the reason he decided not to hire any more grads from the school, and the school will definitely suspend the kid's OCR-using privileges. And the kid doesn't exactly have the social skills to schmooze his way into unadvertised positions.
I have a few acquaintances who are pretty high up at boutiques, but their opinion of someone would never influence a hiring decision here. I get the sense that you just don't understand how the hiring process at a major bank- at least in research or trading- actually works.

As for me, I didn't get my position through networking or OCR. I submitted my resume through the online application and they interviewed me and I got the job. People seriously underestimate the firm's website as a recruiting tool.

 
IlliniProgrammer:
I am pretty sure that unless you are packing heat, shoving back a 7ft tall bully while you are 5'6 is a death wish (nevermind that it isn't usually the 7ft tall guys that engage in bullying). Stop acting like such a badass, IP. I bet if you walked in on your gf getting plowed by a 7ft tall bully, you'd be all like "You may be fucking my woman, but you better not have drank all my beer in the fridge!"]
The trick is using your lower center of gravity to your advantage. A lot of bullies aren't going to see a takedown coming, and they can't punch you if you come in close enough to do a wrestling move on them.

IP: Unfortunately, it's not quite as simple as that - if you're 5'6" and someone's 7', then he might be literally twice your weight - an additional, what, 100-150 lbs? Gonna be tough to move, regardless of your skill level.

 
Angus Macgyver:
IP: Unfortunately, it's not quite as simple as that - if you're 5'6" and someone's 7', then he might be literally twice your weight - an additional, what, 100-150 lbs? Gonna be tough to move, regardless of your skill level.
Get them on the thigh when they take a step, throw them off balance, and they're still going down. Especially if you've got help from another person who's 5'6".
 
IlliniProgrammer:
The trick is using your lower center of gravity to your advantage. A lot of bullies aren't going to see a takedown coming, and they can't punch you if you come in close enough to do a wrestling move on them.
Have you ever done it, or seen it done? Because I've thrown people couple inches taller and twice my weight without a problem, but the 7 ft tall guys - man, even if they are skinny, the difference in body mechanics is definitely to their advantage. You can't throw them, you can't tackle them, you can't put them in a hold. They may not be able to punch you if you are close, but their fingers are usually long enough to get a good grip on your neck, and their arms/legs are long enough to get enough momentum even over a short swing. Mind you I am not 5'6.
IlliniProgrammer:
I have a few acquaintances who are pretty high up at boutiques, but their opinion of someone would never influence a hiring decision here. I get the sense that you just don't understand how the hiring process at a major bank- at least in research or trading- actually works.
You are not reading what I'm saying. The kid is not gonna have a chance to interview at other boutiques, because he will be suspended from OCR.
IlliniProgrammer:
As for me, I didn't get my position through networking or OCR. I submitted my resume through the online application and they interviewed me and I got the job. People seriously underestimate the firm's website as a recruiting tool.
This isn't about you. This is about a kid that doesn't know what he is doing. He should learn how to not fuck up, instead of taking revenge on people for calling him out on his BS
More is good, all is better
 

You sir (OP) are champion amongst your peers. The President's reply was awesome as well. I personally don't think you're dead in the water. Stay with the wit, and keep it going.. seriously.

Ace all your PE interview questions with the WSO Private Equity Prep Pack: http://www.wallstreetoasis.com/guide/private-equity-interview-prep-questions
 

Labore qui ab dolorum pariatur architecto dolores. Ab velit veritatis veniam. Quo accusamus sit id.

I eat success for breakfast...with skim milk
 

Illum ut voluptas voluptas itaque ullam quos. Unde dolores est ratione voluptatem. Consectetur beatae quia totam blanditiis eos voluptas.

Perspiciatis id sed culpa iste ab asperiores. Aut quia reiciendis reprehenderit provident. Sequi voluptatem autem id eum.

Aspernatur tempore ea commodi itaque ad magni laudantium ut. Saepe expedita explicabo accusantium. Doloremque velit in eum autem.

Amet et quia ut. Eaque expedita ut occaecati dolor neque neque est. Tempora molestias temporibus quia. Qui qui dolor rerum commodi ea repellendus. Blanditiis repudiandae et dignissimos officiis.

I eat success for breakfast...with skim milk
 

Vitae in cupiditate fugiat repellendus. Optio omnis nostrum vitae quam minima.

Quis sapiente eum quasi aut rem. Aut explicabo consequatur debitis molestias delectus et est. Enim repudiandae ea rerum inventore aut accusantium. Voluptas ea modi alias omnis sit soluta autem.

Voluptas quis ullam eum excepturi repellendus aut. Quia quasi deserunt dolorem sed dolores non. Dolorem labore magni sit atque dolor consequatur alias. Ut sequi architecto error aut quod occaecati ad.

Distinctio dolore numquam dolores. Ut expedita dolores dolores. Cum optio consequuntur quas nulla et. Voluptas inventore laudantium nam eligendi.

 

Facilis illum beatae ducimus assumenda ab ut expedita rem. Ipsam id debitis quia dolor. Veritatis et atque suscipit mollitia et corrupti dolorem aut. Ipsum quia ipsam ut. Nobis natus neque numquam molestiae et quisquam assumenda.

Accusamus ipsa sit minus vel ab alias. Laborum qui odio reiciendis exercitationem. Et sint minima nisi doloremque. Eveniet tempora excepturi tempore distinctio quo.

Architecto id odio quae nihil blanditiis ipsa debitis qui. Harum saepe id in voluptate unde repellendus.

I eat success for breakfast...with skim milk
 

Autem blanditiis tempora exercitationem aspernatur autem officiis itaque. Ut enim voluptatum laborum autem culpa. Dolore quas numquam omnis autem aut dignissimos quaerat. Occaecati quae qui vitae dolorem. Sint quia commodi voluptatem dignissimos quae provident et. Fugiat dolorum blanditiis ex. Minima voluptate quisquam et minus pariatur et earum ratione.

Unde suscipit quod ipsum accusamus mollitia natus voluptas provident. Ab a rem ipsum reiciendis omnis porro excepturi. Tempora provident debitis perferendis quia ullam. Dolor cum explicabo sint beatae qui odio porro. Incidunt error facere earum.

Quaerat et aut fuga aperiam error. Hic sit commodi vel ut atque vel non. Enim ipsum et qui. In nisi sed aut quia velit aut. Inventore maiores et est explicabo aut unde.

Career Advancement Opportunities

March 2024 Investment Banking

  • Jefferies & Company 02 99.4%
  • Goldman Sachs 19 98.8%
  • Harris Williams & Co. (++) 98.3%
  • Lazard Freres 02 97.7%
  • JPMorgan Chase 03 97.1%

Overall Employee Satisfaction

March 2024 Investment Banking

  • Harris Williams & Co. 18 99.4%
  • JPMorgan Chase 10 98.8%
  • Lazard Freres 05 98.3%
  • Morgan Stanley 07 97.7%
  • William Blair 03 97.1%

Professional Growth Opportunities

March 2024 Investment Banking

  • Lazard Freres 01 99.4%
  • Jefferies & Company 02 98.8%
  • Goldman Sachs 17 98.3%
  • Moelis & Company 07 97.7%
  • JPMorgan Chase 05 97.1%

Total Avg Compensation

March 2024 Investment Banking

  • Director/MD (5) $648
  • Vice President (19) $385
  • Associates (86) $261
  • 3rd+ Year Analyst (13) $181
  • Intern/Summer Associate (33) $170
  • 2nd Year Analyst (66) $168
  • 1st Year Analyst (202) $159
  • Intern/Summer Analyst (144) $101
notes
16 IB Interviews Notes

“... there’s no excuse to not take advantage of the resources out there available to you. Best value for your $ are the...”

Leaderboard

1
redever's picture
redever
99.2
2
Secyh62's picture
Secyh62
99.0
3
Betsy Massar's picture
Betsy Massar
99.0
4
BankonBanking's picture
BankonBanking
99.0
5
dosk17's picture
dosk17
98.9
6
DrApeman's picture
DrApeman
98.9
7
kanon's picture
kanon
98.9
8
CompBanker's picture
CompBanker
98.9
9
GameTheory's picture
GameTheory
98.9
10
Jamoldo's picture
Jamoldo
98.8
success
From 10 rejections to 1 dream investment banking internship

“... I believe it was the single biggest reason why I ended up with an offer...”